Facebook Pregnancy Announcements

I completed OAMC, and lived to tell about it (barely!)

But you’ll have to wait, because I have something more pressing to get off my chest today.

A friend of mine who has also been struggling with infertility sent me the link to a blog post that lists out clever ways to post your pregnancy on Facebook. A woman struggling with IF posted the article to her blog, but added her own comments below each different way to post.

At first, I got a good little chuckle at some of the points, but then, I got really, really sad for the author. Reading the comments made me sad, too. The point of the post was to point out how insensitive it is to Facebook a pregnancy announcement. For the record, I couldn’t disagree more. People compared it to having handicapped friends in wheelchairs and constantly posting about running or hiking. They called people who post a cheesy pregnancy announcements “obnoxious” and the mothers “attention whores”. I can’t think of anything more absurd.

First of all, Facebook should be filled with friends and family and people that you love. I know, most of us have acquaintances on there, but I hope that the people you are real friends with outweigh them.  I’m on Facebook because I want to hear what’s going on with my friends and family. I’m genuinely interested in what happens in their lives. I get excited when someone posts about a promotion, or a move, or a new house. I get super excited about engagements and parties. I’m glad that people allow me to know what is going on with them. In my very busy life, when I can’t have a girl’s night every week, it allows me to stay in touch. If I didn’t want to stay in touch, I wouldn’t be on Facebook.

Now, regarding pregnancy announcements, that’s a part of my friends’ lives. A big part. When you’re 28 years old, pretty much everyone you know is pregnant or has a baby. Most of my friends have 2. As someone who has been trying to get pregnant for 5+ years, I will say that sometimes those announcements sting a little. That’s completely natural when someone is celebrating something that you long to have. However, that is my personal issue. I would never, ever make someone feel badly about posting a pregnancy announcement. And after that initial sting, I am so, SOOO, happy for them! Having a baby is exciting and magical – that’s why I’m trying!

For me, many of the people that are on my Facebook know that we’ve been trying for awhile. And they have offered kind words, and prayed for us, and sent sweet notes. I can think of nothing more exciting than the day when I get to make a cheesy pregnancy announcement letting them know that we are finally going to have a baby! And you know what, they are my friends, and they will be genuinely happy for me. Of course I’ll tell most of them in real life first, but you’d better believe both the picture of the positive pregnancy test and sonogram pictures are going up! And every chance I get, I’m going to post how thankful I am that I’m getting to be a part of a miracle, and how excited I am that my belly is growing. And occasionally, I’m going to post about symptoms, and I might even complain when pregnancy gets hard. And you know what, I have every right to do that. Not because I’ve had trouble conceiving, but because any woman that wants a baby, and gets pregnant, and gets to experience the wonderfulness of creating a life gets the right to post about it.

I’m sad that so many of those women were so incredibly bitter. Is there nothing else in life worth celebrating? Some of those comments seriously had me concerned that these women spend every single day in complete and total despair, and that’s a terrible way to live. Yes, I want a baby. But you know what? I have the most wonderful husband, and we seriously have SO MUCH FUN together and laugh every single day. My family rocks. I have friends that think I’m totally awesome, and I adore them. I have a house that’s fantastic, and a yard that I get to play in. So if I never get pregnant, I’ll grieve for sure, but I have a helluva lot to be thankful for, and I will not live in sadness for the rest of my days.

And I would say to those women who are struggling – I understand. I know it’s hard, and I know that sometimes it’s necessary to hide updates from people on bad days. And that’s okay. It’s okay to feel sad when you see another announcement, and it’s okay to cry.

What’s not okay, is making others feel bad for celebrating in such a joyous occasion. Shame on you if you take part in it. If they knew how you felt, and what you were going through, I very highly doubt they would talk badly about you, or make you feel bad. So why would you do that to them?

I just don’t get it.

Snow Cream Fun

Yesterday we got our first snow of the year. And by "our first snow", I mean our first flurries that didn't stick but created waves of panic across about five counties. That's what happens when you live in the South and someone says "snow". Fun times.

Hopefully though, we will get snow at some point, and then I can make a batch of fan-tabulous snow cream. For those of you who are already getting good amounts, I thought I would share my tried and true recipe.

Snow Cream Recipe

1 gallon of snow

2 cups of milk

1 cup of sugar

1 tbsp vanilla

First, get a big bowl, and fill it with snow. The good fluffy stuff in the middle (careful to not get the bottom - no one likes to eat grass!)

Next, get your ingredients together. You'll need milk, sugar, and vanilla.

Told you it was easy.

Add all of the ingredients to the snow, and mix, mix, mix.

Then scoop out and enjoy!



So Apparently....

Ok. So apparently, there is this little tidbit of information that I did not know about buying loose leaf tea.

In light of my recent discovery, I thought it was only responsible to share.

(although perhaps I'm the only one that doesn't know...)

As it turns out, tea is sold by weight, not volume.

That is a full size Yankee candle, so you can see the amount of tea that I have purchased.

Now, who would like tea? And when can you come over?

Because we will drink tea together.

For years to come.

Daydreaming...

A couple of nights ago Josh and I were talking about our house, and I mentioned to him that I wanted to put a white, picket fence around the back yard. He very casually replied that we didn't need to fence in a yard that we would be moving away from in a few years, which came as quite the shock to me! I thought we'd be here for at least another 10 years, if not more. Now don't get me wrong, I'm ALL about some change! In fact, I would love nothing more than to build a house and put in everything that I want. I just didn't realize that he wanted to do the same thing - sooner than later.

It's funny how my taste has changed so much over the years. Five years ago, if you'd asked me what my dream house would look like, I would have shown you this:

Anyone recognize this famous house? It's the Home Alone house. And it is absolutely gorgeous. I would've told you how I wanted mahogany everything, and a fall color palate, and formal landscaping.

Now, my tastes have evolved, and when I'm looking for my dream home, I'm envisioning this instead:

I'll be disappointed if you guys don't know which movie this house is from. It's a movie I've probably seen at least once a year since it came out (some years, twice!).

In the back, I want a garden like the one from It's Complicated, overflowing with flowers and herbs and all sorts of veggies.

I want a white clawfoot tub, and a farmhouse sink, and bright, happy colors. And I want to smell lavender from my garden when I walk outside. And I desperately want a white picket fence.

I think my former dream house fit the person that I thought I wanted to be - successful, fashionable, impeccably stylish in my decor. A house like this deserves a maid, and well behaved children that don't get dirty. And there are people who fit that description, and their houses are wonderful representations of that.

My dream house now, though, is unmistakably who I've actually become. Someone who appreciates the beauty in simplicity and wildflowers, and who has realized that there is nothing more pleasurable than being surrounded by things that you love. Someone who loves the satisfaction of growing something from a seed. Someone who wants little people running around, playing in the dirt, and finding new bugs. Someone who wants rocking chairs outside.

I think people deserve to live somewhere that makes them happy, and that is authentic to their lifestyle. And I don't think you have to have your "dream" house to do that. I'm certain that you can create a home out of an apartment, with a little patience and a lot of love. That's one of the things that I love about the "Leave It To Beaver" era - women created homes that were warm and inviting, and unique. I think creating a home is something of an artform that has slowly been fading away, and that makes me kindof sad. I hope, though, that when people come to my home, they get a sense of "me", rather than a collection of impersonal items from Pier One. I hope that whether it be this house, or my house to come, that they describe my house as "perfectly Kristen", because that's what it should be.