Faith, Fertility, and Domesticity

OAMC - Final Update

2012-02-09T19:30:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago, after much preparation, I spent a weekend cooking for a month.

This seemed like a good idea at the time.

Part of the preparation was creating lists, finding sales and coupons, and then visiting three different grocery stores for the best deals: Kroger, Whole Foods, and Food Lion.

An important note - start with a clean kitchen! There are SO many groceries that end up on your counter. This was my first trip to Whole Foods:

I thought it wouldn't be a big deal to "wing it". This was not wise. Haha. It's actually really important to make a schedule, even if you modify it as you go. I needed an oven schedule more than anything, because the way I ended up cooking was very inefficient.

These were the dishes made:
Black Bean Soup
Sweet Potato and Black Bean Enchiladas
Roasted Butternut Squash, Cranberries, and Pecans with Quinoa
Roasted Garlic White Bean Soup
Burritos
Smoothie Packs

Since this was my first go around, I didn't make big variety of dishes. But if you don't like to eat the same thing often, it would be a good idea to increase the dishes.

The smoothie packs are my favorite thing EVER. I will continue to do these going forward. I varied the recipes, but the base for each was 2 bananas, 1.5 cups of other fruit (berries, peaches, pineapple, etc), and
a couple cups of greens (I used spinach and kale). I added other things, too, but I varied those things up - yogurt, chia seeds, nut butter, nuts, kefir, etc. I used freezer ziplock baggies, and froze them flat, so that I could pack them in easier.

The soups I froze in mason jars, and the enchiladas I froze in aluminum, then put them in gallon sized ziplock baggies.

So would I do this again? Truthfully, I probably will not.

It took a VERY long time, there were so many dishes, and I was really short on space in the freezer.

I would (and will) cook for a couple of weeks at a time though. I love being able to grab and go, and I love not having to clean up through the week but still have a yummy, healthy dinner. I also saved money by planning my meals. My grocery bill ended up being a little less than $300, which was much cheaper than I normally get away with. I'll still be able to save planning a couple of weeks at a time though!

So give it a try - let me know what you think!

Facebook Pregnancy Announcements

2012-01-30T10:30:00.000-08:00

I completed OAMC, and lived to tell about it (barely!)

But you’ll have to wait, because I have something more pressing to get off my chest today.

A friend of mine who has also been struggling with infertility sent me the link to a blog post that lists out clever ways to post your pregnancy on Facebook. A woman struggling with IF posted the article to her blog, but added her own comments below each different way to post.

At first, I got a good little chuckle at some of the points, but then, I got really, really sad for the author. Reading the comments made me sad, too. The point of the post was to point out how insensitive it is to Facebook a pregnancy announcement. For the record, I couldn’t disagree more. People compared it to having handicapped friends in wheelchairs and constantly posting about running or hiking. They called people who post a cheesy pregnancy announcements “obnoxious” and the mothers “attention whores”. I can’t think of anything more absurd.

First of all, Facebook should be filled with friends and family and people that you love. I know, most of us have acquaintances on there, but I hope that the people you are real friends with outweigh them. I’m on Facebook because I want to hear what’s going on with my friends and family. I’m genuinely interested in what happens in their lives. I get excited when someone posts about a promotion, or a move, or a new house. I get super excited about engagements and parties. I’m glad that people allow me to know what is going on with them. In my very busy life, when I can’t have a girl’s night every week, it allows me to stay in touch. If I didn’t want to stay in touch, I wouldn’t be on Facebook.

Now, regarding pregnancy announcements, that’s a part of my friends’ lives. A big part. When you’re 28 years old, pretty much everyone you know is pregnant or has a baby. Most of my friends have 2. As someone who has been trying to get pregnant for 5+ years, I will say that sometimes those announcements sting a little. That’s completely natural when someone is celebrating something that you long to have. However, that is my personal issue. I would never, ever make someone feel badly about posting a pregnancy announcement. And after that initial sting, I am so, SOOO, happy for them! Having a baby is exciting and magical – that’s why I’m trying!

For me, many of the people that are on my Facebook know that we’ve been trying for awhile. And they have offered kind words, and prayed for us, and sent sweet notes. I can think of nothing more exciting than the day when I get to make a cheesy pregnancy announcement letting them know that we are finally going to have a baby! And you know what, they are my friends, and they will be genuinely happy for me. Of course I’ll tell most of them in real life first, but you’d better believe both the picture of the positive pregnancy test and sonogram pictures are going up! And every chance I get, I’m going to post how thankful I am that I’m getting to be a part of a miracle, and how excited I am that my belly is growing. And occasionally, I’m going to post about symptoms, and I might even complain when pregnancy gets hard. And you know what, I have every right to do that. Not because I’ve had trouble conceiving, but because any woman that wants a baby, and gets pregnant, and gets to experience the wonderfulness of creating a life gets the right to post about it.

I’m sad that so many of those women were so incredibly bitter. Is there nothing else in life worth celebrating? Some of those comments seriously had me concerned that these women spend every single day in complete and total despair, and that’s a terrible way to live. Yes, I want a baby. But you know what? I have the most wonderful husband, and we seriously have SO MUCH FUN together and laugh every single day. My family rocks. I have friends that think I’m totally awesome, and I adore them. I have a house that’s fantastic, and a yard that I get to play in. So if I never get pregnant, I’ll grieve for sure, but I have a helluva lot to be thankful for, and I will not live in sadness for the rest of my days.

And I would say to those women who are struggling – I understand. I know it’s hard, and I know that sometimes it’s necessary to hide updates from people on bad days. And that’s okay. It’s okay to feel sad when you see another announcement, and it’s okay to cry.

What’s not okay, is making others feel bad for celebrating in such a joyous occasion. Shame on you if you take part in it. If they knew how you felt, and what you were going through, I very highly doubt they would talk badly about you, or make you feel bad. So why would you do that to them?

I just don’t get it.

Snow Cream Fun

2012-01-13T19:35:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we got our first snow of the year. And by "our first snow", I mean our first flurries that didn't stick but created waves of panic across about five counties. That's what happens when you live in the South and someone says "snow". Fun times.

Hopefully though, we will get snow at some point, and then I can make a batch of fan-tabulous snow cream. For those of you who are already getting good amounts, I thought I would share my tried and true recipe.

Snow Cream Recipe

1 gallon of snow

2 cups of milk

1 cup of sugar

1 tbsp vanilla

First, get a big bowl, and fill it with snow. The good fluffy stuff in the middle (careful to not get the bottom - no one likes to eat grass!)

Next, get your ingredients together. You'll need milk, sugar, and vanilla.

Told you it was easy.

Add all of the ingredients to the snow, and mix, mix, mix.

Then scoop out and enjoy!

So Apparently....

2012-01-12T16:46:00.000-08:00

Ok. So apparently, there is this little tidbit of information that I did not know about buying loose leaf tea.

In light of my recent discovery, I thought it was only responsible to share.

(although perhaps I'm the only one that doesn't know...)

As it turns out, tea is sold by weight, not volume.

That is a full size Yankee candle, so you can see the amount of tea that I have purchased.

Now, who would like tea? And when can you come over?

Because we will drink tea together.

For years to come.

Daydreaming...

2012-01-10T15:00:00.000-08:00

A couple of nights ago Josh and I were talking about our house, and I mentioned to him that I wanted to put a white, picket fence around the back yard. He very casually replied that we didn't need to fence in a yard that we would be moving away from in a few years, which came as quite the shock to me! I thought we'd be here for at least another 10 years, if not more. Now don't get me wrong, I'm ALL about some change! In fact, I would love nothing more than to build a house and put in everything that I want. I just didn't realize that he wanted to do the same thing - sooner than later.

It's funny how my taste has changed so much over the years. Five years ago, if you'd asked me what my dream house would look like, I would have shown you this:

Anyone recognize this famous house? It's the Home Alone house. And it is absolutely gorgeous. I would've told you how I wanted mahogany everything, and a fall color palate, and formal landscaping.

Now, my tastes have evolved, and when I'm looking for my dream home, I'm envisioning this instead:

I'll be disappointed if you guys don't know which movie this house is from. It's a movie I've probably seen at least once a year since it came out (some years, twice!).

In the back, I want a garden like the one from It's Complicated, overflowing with flowers and herbs and all sorts of veggies.

I want a white clawfoot tub, and a farmhouse sink, and bright, happy colors. And I want to smell lavender from my garden when I walk outside. And I desperately want a white picket fence.

I think my former dream house fit the person that I thought I wanted to be - successful, fashionable, impeccably stylish in my decor. A house like this deserves a maid, and well behaved children that don't get dirty. And there are people who fit that description, and their houses are wonderful representations of that.

My dream house now, though, is unmistakably who I've actually become. Someone who appreciates the beauty in simplicity and wildflowers, and who has realized that there is nothing more pleasurable than being surrounded by things that you love. Someone who loves the satisfaction of growing something from a seed. Someone who wants little people running around, playing in the dirt, and finding new bugs. Someone who wants rocking chairs outside.

I think people deserve to live somewhere that makes them happy, and that is authentic to their lifestyle. And I don't think you have to have your "dream" house to do that. I'm certain that you can create a home out of an apartment, with a little patience and a lot of love. That's one of the things that I love about the "Leave It To Beaver" era - women created homes that were warm and inviting, and unique. I think creating a home is something of an artform that has slowly been fading away, and that makes me kindof sad. I hope, though, that when people come to my home, they get a sense of "me", rather than a collection of impersonal items from Pier One. I hope that whether it be this house, or my house to come, that they describe my house as "perfectly Kristen", because that's what it should be.

OAMC Update!

2012-01-01T19:39:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago, I discovered once-a-month cooking, and wrote about it here.

I thought it would be relatively easy to hop on that bandwagon.

Ha. Hahahahaha.

Oh I'm still on it; it's just taking longer than I thought. Right now I'm in recipe gathering stage. Here's my predicament - I am very picky about how I like reheated meat. If it were up to me, I'd never EVER eat it. Particularly chicken. I'm a firm believer that you can overcook meat, and that's all I taste if it's reheated. Rubbery, overcooked grossness. Blech.

This actually isn't a terrible thing though, because part of the Making Babies prescription is to significantly reduce animal products. SO, I'm thinking my OAMC recipes can be meat free (mostly), and then I'll make chicken or whatever on the weekend. Apparently no one else has the same issue with reheated meat, so all of the menus and freezer friendly meals that are easy to find are meat based. That's why it's been taking a bit longer.

I've decided that I'll be doing breakfast, lunch, and dinner 5 days a week, since the work week is the hardest for me. For breakfast, we generally do green smoothies, so I'm making smoothie packets. It'll be both easy to make in advance, and easy to toss in the blender and go.

I'm also making several soups. I love, love, love soup, especially this time of the year. Plus it's super easy to take to work and freezes really well.

For supper, I'm doing recipes that include lots of veggies, grains, and beans.

There are sooo many links/blogs/recipes for OAMC, so I've linked up to a few of my favorites below.

http://www.passionatehomemaking.com/2009/01/nutritious-freezer-meal-carnival.html - I love this blog, and she offers lots of helpful tips and some awesome recipes

http://onceamonthmom.com/ - This is once of the most helpful sites I've found. I love that the menus are seasonal, and that there are various menus to choose from. For someone just getting into this, she breaks everything down, and offers tons of tips and tricks to staying organized through the process.

http://www.frugalmom.net/blog/in-the-kitchen/freezer-cooking-in-the-kitchen/7-steps-to-once-a-month-cooking/ - Some helpful tips for planning.

My plan is to have everything together by the weekend of January 20th to be prepared for a couple of days of cooking. I'll finish compiling recipes this week, then spend the next couple of weeks trying to figure out how to be as frugal and organized as possible.

I'm really excited to give this a try! Of course I'll link up to the recipes that I'm using, and I'll also take lots of pictures throughout the process. Hopefully all will go well, and I can have a new way to simplify the work week!

Winding Down

2011-12-27T11:05:00.000-08:00

I'm always a little sad to see Christmas go, but also kindof glad to have some order back at the house. December was filled with little free time, Christmas parties, wrapping paper, baking, and all kinds of other chaos-inducing activities, so it's nice to go into January with no scheduled plans.

Christmas weekend was the busiest of the month, but it was so much fun! Friday we did Christmas with my Dad, Saturday with Josh's dad's side of the family, Sunday morning we went to his parents house bright and early, and then finished off the day at my mom's for Christmas dinner. My nieces and nephews are at very fun ages - especially the younger ones who are both about two and a half. Watching them open presents really was the highlight!

Another highlight was this fantastic gift from Josh's parents.

I'm no grill expert, but apparently Weber is like the BMW of grills (says the boy who has made us look at them in Lowes every visit for the last 5+ years).

My new Kindle touch with the E-ink that I *SO* wished for is pretty awesome, too!!!!! :-)

Yesterday was clean up day. My living room was strewn with wrapping paper, ribbons, tissue, bags and boxes. Right about the time I was almost finished boxing up the last of it, Josh walked in and exclaimed -

"I can almost walk through the living room now!"

Operation Cleanup = Success!

Now it's time to tackle the OAMC, and Project: Get Kristen Knocked Up in 2012!!!

Nine Wonderful Years!

2011-12-20T09:21:00.000-08:00

Nine years ago today, I was nervous, and excited, and couldn't wait to be Mrs.Lynch. My favorite part of the day was when the church doors opened, and we saw each other. All of the nervousness, and all of the people, faded away - it was just us. I was marrying my best friend.

At that moment, I thought that my heart could literally explode with love, and that I'd never possibly love him any more. But I was wrong. I've loved him a little more every single day since.

When I got up, I decided to take a stroll down memory lane. I pulled out "The Josh Box". If you've read our story here, you know that I ~~stalked~~ liked Josh for several years before anything actually came of it. I started keeping these little momentos, and it evolved into needing somewhere to keep everything. I've spent the morning reading old journals, and looking at stuff that I can't believe that I kept, but that I'm so very glad I did.

When I was 13, he came over to my house. He was delivering newspapers, and he pulled one of the paper holders out of his coat and threw it at me. I kept it because it smelled like him.

I kept petals from the 18 roses he got me for my 15th birthday, and the plastic glasses we toasted with the night we got engaged. I have every letter and card and note he's ever written - ones that are on the back of church programs, some on post its, and some that he actually typed, including the very first love letter that he ever wrote me, the night that we kissed -

"Sometimes I look at you and cannot keep from staring. You are so beautiful. The sparkle in your eyes reminds me of a clear summer night, looking up at the stars, watching them shine. Both are equally enchanting."

I have tickets to places we've been, and hotel keys from places we've stayed. I have gift bags, and a ring pop wrapper from the first "ring" he ever gave me. I have our tickets to the prom - both junior and senior.

I have emails, and instant message chats printed off. And fortunately, I have a handful of journals that recorded some of our first sweet moments, and some of my first private thoughts -

09/28/97
"I am totally in love with Josh Lynch. Everybody thinks that it's just a crush, and I'll get over him, but it's not like that. I've seriously never liked someone as much as I like him. I think he is completely and totally flawless."

10/19/97
"Josh was carrying hamburger crates inside and I went to walk around him and he ran right into me. I thought it was an accident, but when I apologized he said "well actually I ran into you" and grinned - COOL!"

12/19/97
"I think he's starting to like me a little....maybe he's just not telling me till I'm older. Cause 17 and 14 is a bigger age difference than 19 and 16. I really hope he likes me. I wish I could tell him exactly how I felt without having to worry and stress over dying of humiliation if he said he didn't feel that way about me."

11/12/98
"Dear Journal - Josh LOVES me!"

There are so many things that I love about our relationship, but my favorite is that it feels like it's always been.

Random Christmas Truths

2011-12-19T11:44:00.000-08:00

Since we're getting so close to Christmas, I thought I would share some Christmas truths!

I love ALL Christmas movies - from the cheesy Hallmark ones to the classics. My favorite classics are It's A Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street. My favorite silly movie is Elf. I cry in all three, every.single.time (yes, even Elf - don't pretend you don't feel the magic when the sleigh starts flying on Christmas spirit...)
I love wrapping gifts. I'm a ribbon and bow girl - I take my time wrapping, and rarely use the stickon bows.
Everything needs to be color coordinated (it's the control freak in me coming out). For the last few years, I've incorporated red, green, gold, and cream. This means that no random color like blue can show up in my decorations or wrapping paper!
I love Christmas baking.
I love Christmas music! I seriously listen to it for the ENTIRE month of December, and occasionally in June!
I love Christmas traditions, and can't wait to start some once we have babies of our own. My favorite growing up was Christmas morning breakfast. After we opened our gifts, my daddy would make us this awesome breakfast while we played with our toys. Then we would all just hang out all day. Many Monopoly games were played on Christmas day over the years.
I love "love" gifts - homemade gifts. Homemade gloves, food, crafts, jellies, soaps - things like that. Someone offering their time to make me something is so special!
I love the cranberry-orange combo and pomegranates! They both remind me of Christmas.

What are some of your Christmas favorites?!

Christmas Card Carousel

2011-12-14T14:58:00.000-08:00

We're slowing inching towards Christmas - are you ready?!

Although we've done yearly Christmas cards, this is the first year that ~~I was able to talk my husband into~~ we decided together that we would be doing a photo card. I absolutely love how it turned out, and thought I would share it with you in Faith's Christmas Card Carousel!

Join in on the fun and come share yours, too!

Chinese Huh?

2011-12-11T17:55:00.000-08:00

Several years ago, before we'd ever gone to a fertility specialist, a guy at work whose wife had just become pregnant through IVF, left a stack of books on my desk for me to take home. There were five or six, and they were all about infertility. I read Infertility for Dummies (they have everything, right?!) but just kindof flipped through the others. I was looking for something in my closet this weekend, and came across the hidden stack of books that I'd forgotten all about. One of the books caught my eye - The Infertility Cure. I very skeptically started reading, but I gotta say, there was some very interesting information in there! So the book starts out describing how in TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) the body isn't treated based on the part in distress. The body is looked on as a whole, and rather than treating the symptom (which Eastern medicine does...often) they treat the entire body to bring into balance naturally whichever part isn't working. That makes sense.

The book came about because the author wasn't able to get pregnant, so she started incorporating TCM stuff (herbs, acupuncture, etc) and was able to conceive naturally. Ya'll know if it's nontraditional, I've gotta try it, haha.

(OMG WHY won't she just do IVF already?!?!?!?! I know, I know.)

The only issue that I had with this book, is that there is SO MUCH information, that it's hard to know what to do and where to begin. As an example, there are, literally, 20+ herbs and supplements listed as options to take. For someone who really doesn't know anything about them though, that's not helpful.

I was on Amazon reading some reviews and I looked up the book to read some. I noticed that customers who bought this book also bought Making Babies, so I looked it up. Quite a few people mentioned that it has the same info as The Infertility Cure, but in terms that are much easier to understand. So of course I bought Making Babies right away, and they were correct, it's SO much easier to understand.

What I found most interesting, is that the author of the book is the doctor who performed the first IVF in the US. He doesn't disagree with IVF (or any type of fertility assistance) but feels like it should be a last resort, and that doctors tend to be too eager to prescribe it. So the book offers alternative and natural methods that they recommend first. It's a 3 month plan, based on your "type". You take a quiz, and determine what your type is, and then follow the recommendations. I've decided to give it a try, and here are some of my recommendations:

2 T flax seeds a day
Wheatgrass
Royal jelly (never really heard of this one, but I'm gonna give it a try!)
Chastetree berry tea
Warm abdomen with a hot water bottle for 20 minutes each night during the first half of cycle
Cruciferous veggies
Green juice

There are also a couple of tea recipes that they recommend, so I'm alternating them. The ingredients include chastetree berry, mint, oat straw, red raspberry leaf, roasted barley, and green tea. I'm getting all of the teas from Mountain Rose Herbs.

In the book, the doctor says that if you can't measure results after a short period of time, then you should move forward with more aggressive treatment. There are 3 different ways to "measure" success in the 3 months - BBT, CM observations, and cervix position (you can Google them if you are in the mood for something gross, haha). According to the book, I should start seeing changes quickly in all three. I've already started charting everything out.

So this is the last straw guys. I'm giving this trial three months, and then if I don't see any results we'll move on. I can't explain it - I know that it's "not a big deal" to pursue fertility treatments, and I had every intention of moving forward right away in January, but for some reason, I just don't feel good about it...yet. Not that I'm opposed, because I definitely am not. Like I said, I just can't explain it. Anyway, I've gotten everything ordered and a plan written out, and I'm giving it a shot :-)

O Christmas Tree!

2011-12-09T14:44:00.000-08:00

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!

Thy leaves are so unchanging;

Not only green when summer's here, But also when 'tis cold and drear.

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Much pleasure thou can'st give me;
How often has the Christmas tree, Afforded me the greatest glee!

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Thy candles shine so brightly!
From base to summit, gay and bright, There's only splendor for the sight.

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
How richly God has decked thee!
Thou bidst us true and faithful be, And trust in God unchangingly.

Once A Month Cooking

2011-12-06T16:03:00.000-08:00

I've very recently discovered a fantastic new idea - once a month cooking. Have you guys ever heard of this? Basically, you plan your menu out for the month, and then pick a weekend day (or a day when you're off work) to make all of the meals and then freeze them.

I have to admit, I'm a little intimidated at how organized I'm going to need to be to pull this off, but I'm also up for the challenge. I'm the perfect candidate for a few reasons. You know the people who go to the store like every other day to pick up a couple of things? Yeah, I'm one of those. Even though I'll say that I go to the store once I week, I pop in various times through the week to pick up other stuff that I've forgotten, or that I've decided to add at the last minute. I would seriously be ashamed to tell you how much money we spend a month on food. I do sortof roughly plan what we'll eat through the week, but if I get tied up at work (which happens often) or traffic is bad or I get home and decide I don't feel like cooking, then we'll order in or go out. As a result, we usually have a few food items go bad before we get to them.

Doing the OAMC, in theory, would save a ridiculous amount of time and money, which is why I have to at least give it a try. PLUS, since I wouldn't be spending really any time at all cooking/cleaning up during the week, I could make time to actually visit the gym. You guys know I've been trying to be more healthy, so this seems like a step in the right direction. It really boils down to some effective time management.

I'm currently in the planning stage of this craziness. It's only Tuesday, so I'm going to try to get a menu together this week, clip some coupons, and then see if I can get to the store early Saturday, and cook Saturday/Sunday. If all goes according to plan, I'll share our menu, costs, and some pictures of the process! Wish me luck!

Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T19:00:00.000-08:00

Today provides us with a reminder of all that we have to be thankful for. Often, life gets in the way and we merely exist, taking for granted all of our blessings, even the little ones. I'm so thankful that I had an oven to make a sweet potato dish to take to my in-laws. I'm thankful that we have family that we love, and who love us back. I'm thankful that we had wonderful memories to reflect on and laugh about today. I'm thankful for my friends that make life fun. I'm thankful that I have a job, in a time where many people who deserve to don't. I'm thankful that I have a home, and a car that works. I'm thankful that I feel safe at night, and I'm thankful for the people who have made that happen.

I'm especially thankful that every single night, I get to come home to a wonderful man who adores me, and makes me feel special. I'm thankful that tonight, I get to cuddle up on my comfortable couch with him and wrap up the day watching A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.

Today, I'm thankful.

What I'm Looking Forward To...

2011-11-14T11:51:00.000-08:00

Are you just dying to know what I'm looking forward to this week?!?!

*crickets*

OF COURSE YOU ARE!!!!

First, let's all channel our inner twelve year olds for a moment, shall we?

Breaking Dawn premieres on Thursday! For my birthday, my friend Vicki got tickets for her, my sis-in-law, and myself to go to the midnight premiere of the newest member of the Twilight series.

I'm going to let that soak in for a moment.

The game plan is an awesome dinner at Chuy's (complete with some margaritas) and then a trip across the street to the theater. We'll have to get there early to fight our way past all of the actual twelve year olds...but we're older and we have reached that point in our lives where we care significantly less what people think of us, so fight we will. Bring it on you little monsters!

Oh, and because we're so awesome, we'll also be sporting Twilight shirts. If that doesn't scream "mature", I just don't know what does.

It's Gettin' Crafty Up In Here...

2011-11-13T20:12:00.000-08:00

My sweet cousin Beka ran a half-marathon Saturday morning in Nashville. It's a really special marathon, because her training has been supporting her in her efforts to have a baby. Although she and her husband have been trying almost as long as Josh and I have, they have been through far more heartache than us. It's not my place to tell her story, so I won't, but she has poured herself into running to manage the stress of infertility, and let me tell you, she rocks.

This is her first half-marathon, and the biggest race that she has done, so of course she had to have some fans cheering her on and snapping pictures!

(really, who wouldn't want obnoxiously loud friends cheering?!)

Me, our mutual friend Jennifer, and her sister Jennifer all rode up together, and we decided to surprise her by making some shirts to wear. Since there are three of us, two of the shirts said "Run" and one said "Beka", so when we all stood in order, they said "Run Beka Run". We thought it would be cute to put little footprints on them, too, so we painted one of the kid's feet. We made it through all three shirts with only a minor meltdown, cured by a piece of gum. Ha.

The shirts were pretty fun, and I think Beka loved them! This was at mile 5, and the first time that she saw us wearing them (Beka is in the blue)

Here are some other fun pics from the day

So proud of my sweet girl!!!!!

Back To Your Regularly Scheduled Programming...

2011-11-07T14:24:00.000-08:00

I have been one busy girl. Have a looksie in my world (with a very OCD bulleted list) and be overwhelmed with me:

Volunteered to do this year's Christmas play at church (valium, anyone?)
Learning to play the guitar (totally random, but I want to rock out in a rock-your-face-off kindof way)

(That's actually not true. I don't want to rock out that much; I just wanted to say rock-your-face-off...)

Fall Harvest Festival at church
Christmas shopping
Christmas wrapping (oh yes, I'll have everything purchased AND wrapped by December 1)
Ordering/Addressing Christmas cards (did I mention I looooooove Christmas?)
Prepping for a girl's day (that's another post for another day....)

(I would like to interrupt this post to tell you that "Ice, Ice Baby" has just started playing on Pandora. I am now singing Ice, Ice Baby pretty loudly and proudly...)

Trying to figure out annual enrollment insurance stuff. Spending Account - Yes or No?!! Who the heck knows. I'm leaning towards yes since we'll use it all for baby making, but insurance stuff always confuses me and there is SO.MUCH.PRESSURE (we'll give you a week to determine your insurance for the next year, so don't screw it up)...
Stressing about whether or not my mid-cycle spotting could be ovulation spotting or implantation spotting (thank you Dr.Google for stressing me out, thank you)
Learning my new job at work, and training my old job to my replacement
Learning HTML
Laundry. The neverendingpilesoflaundry.

The Christmas play is definitely the most time consuming. I volunteered because no one else had (does that sound bad?), and I have yet to find a play. I need to find a play script, come up with a practice schedule, and be prepared to host a meeting with the parents this Sunday after church to discuss all play related details. I'm pretty excited, but I know it's going to be ca-RAZY through the end of the year. We are a small church, but we have so many kids right now! I'm looking forward to getting to play with all of them!

You know what else I'm looking forward to? Folding all of the laundry that I pulled out of the dryer this morning.

(ha.hahahahaha.)

Hopefully Millie didn't take up residence on top...

Weight Loss Monday (and Halloween!)

2011-10-31T17:11:00.001-07:00

Happy Halloween everyone!!!

I am up to 11 pounds :-)

Slow and steady wins the race!

Fall Foods

2011-10-28T08:40:00.000-07:00

I love fall. I'm positive that I've mentioned it before, but it's my very favorite season, hands down. How can I not love fall when I get to look at these beauties in my yard!

It's been rainy and cold here the last couple of days, and as a result, I've wanted good "comfort" food. Comfort food and fall just go together, right? Since I'm doing WW, I needed some comfort foods that were low in points, and my last couple of breakfasts have been just what I needed to get the day started.

Yesterday I made a super easy pumpkin smoothie.

Pumpkin Smoothie
2 cups almond milk (I use unsweetened original Almond Breeze)
1/2 cup canned pumpkin
1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1 sliced, frozen banana
2 tablespoons flax seed meal (ground flaxseeds)

Blend and enjoy!

Is it weird that I use mason jars as glasses? Haha. I have a TON of them that I use for freezing soups, sauces, broths, and other stuff so sometimes I grab one to drink out of. Why not, right?

Today I stayed home from work (shhh....) so I had time to make something a little more time consuming. I made sweet potato cakes with a fried egg and some coffee.

Sweet Potato Cakes (this serves 1)

1/2 sweet potato, grated

2 tablespoons whole wheat flour

1 egg white

salt and pepper

Whip egg white until frothy, and mix in flour. Add grated sweet potato and mix. Add a little olive oil to your skillet and heat over medium heat until hot. Drop heaping tablespoons into skillet and flatten immediately (make sure you get them really flat so that the middle isn't raw). Cook until browned on both sides, then lay on a paper towel to absorb any excess oil.

Even Millie wanted to try it!!!

(no, I don't feed her people food, no, I don't let her on the dining room table, and yes, I washed off where her paws touched)

With such a yummy start to the day, I'm ready for a productive day of cleaning! Happy Friday!

Happy Bithday To Me!

2011-10-22T18:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my 28th birthday, and I still cannot believe that I'm no longer in my "mid" twenties. Other than that smidge of sadness, it's been a pretty fantastic weekend!

Friday night, Josh and I went to see Wicked. It's the prequel to The Wizard of Oz, but it's about Glenda and the Wicked Witch of the West. It's the story of how each of them came to be. It also explains some of the main characters that you know in TWOO. I've wanted to see it F-O-R-E-V-E-R, and it was, by far, my favorite of the shows that I've seen!! And it changes everything about TWOO!!!! I very highly recommend that you see it if you get the chance.

Wicked was playing in Nashville, so we booked a hotel for the night that was close to TPAC (Tennessee Performing Arts Center). It's called Hotel Indigo, and it is pretty fantastic. It's a modern hotel, and all of the rooms have these giant black and white murals on the wall (look to the left). We'd already plopped down on the bed when I took this - it was more neatly made when we first arrived.

We got there a little early, so after we checked in we walked to Demos for some spaghetti - yummo! After dinner, we went back to the hotel for a pre-show nap (one of the things I appreciate about not having children yet!) and then got all prettied up for the show!

I wish I could have taken some pictures of the performance, but of course there were no cameras allowed. The costumes were just beautiful though!

After the show we went back to the hotel and slept for about ten glorious hours :-)

I couldn't have asked for a better birthday weekend!

It's Fall Ya'll!

2011-10-18T18:42:00.000-07:00

Today when I left work it was 55 degrees. Finally, it feels like fall is here!

Last year I saw a table centerpiece for fall in the Pottery Barn catalog that I fell completely in love with! All of the pieces were ridiculously expensive, so I went to Hobby Lobby to recreate the same look on a budget. I loved it last year, and I love it again this year!!!

I found this plaque of one of my favorite verses, and had to include it. I love seeing it every day!

I also added some pumpkins in the kitchen

Josh surprised me last week with some pumpkin butter, and I've been eating it every chance I get! Seriously, who doesn't love pumpkin butter! I'm pretty much going to spend the next six weeks pumpkin obsessed, so you should prepare yourself for some pumpkin posts in the near future :-)

Weight Loss Monday!

2011-10-17T19:52:00.000-07:00

I didn't weigh this morning. Although I signed up for WW a couple of weeks ago, I really have been halfway doing it. I just can't believe how fast the end of the year is flying by! I kept feeling like I had time, and all of a sudden, we're halfway through October - craziness!

Anywhoo, this week the girls at work joined WW, too, which is a great motivation to commit. Now that we're all on the same page, we can encourage each other and eat lunch together, rather than eating out. This is a big deal, because we eat lunch out like 4 days a week! We've decided to scale back to 1 day a week, and we'll make better choices on that day, rather than our usual Chuys.

In the spirit of being more committed, here's what today's menu looked like!

Breakfast - green smoothie! This one had a peach, banana, almond milk, spinach, and romaine

Lunch - stuffed acorn squash (filled with pineapple, apricots, macadamia nuts, raisins, cinnamon), side salad with mango salsa

I took the picture after I wrapped up the squash, so it's a little hard to see.

Dinner - White Bean and Roasted Garlic Soup, cracked wheat crusty bread from Panera

I didn't get a picture of dinner, but it was pretty darn amazing. The base is two roasted bulbs of garlic. Yes, you read that correctly. Bulbs, not cloves. YUM!

Chai Tea Recipe!

2011-10-12T18:32:00.000-07:00

Ya'll. YA'LL.

I love chai tea, especially the iced kind! So the other day when I was at home, I got a serious craving for an iced chai, and was really bummed out because we don't have a Starbucks in my town. The closest is half an hour away (THAT, my friends, is tragic)

So I hopped online and scrolled through an insane amount of recipes until I found one that I thought would be good. And it was not only good, it was heaven. You may think that's an exaggeration (whaaaaaaaaaa?! me, exaggerate?! NO!), but I assure you, this is no exaggeration.

Trust me, you need to go to the store immediately, and purchase anything that you don't have so that you can make this! If you like Starbucks Iced Chai Lattes - you'll never buy another! You'll save tons of money making your own equally delish drink, and then you can splurge on Kate Spade (my addiction of choice!)

(I'm not sure if you've noticed all of the parenthesis)

(I *really* love parenthesis)

Ok, onto the recipe! I found it at Big Girls, Small Kitchen.

Iced Chai Tea Latte (1 serving)
6 T Chai Tea Concentrate - recipe follows
1 C milk (I used vanilla almond milk)
Ice

Chai Tea Concentrate
This makes 1.5 cups, enough for 4 lattes

3 T sugar
8 cardamom pods (I only had ground cardamom, so I used about 1/2 t)
1 cinnamon stick, snapped in half
1 slice ginger, peeled
5 whole cloves
4 whole black peppercorns
2 black teabags
1 T honey

Combine all ingredients except the honey in a pot. Add 2 cups of water and bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Lower slightly and let simmer for 5 minutes. Turn off the heat and let steep for 5 minutes. Remove the teabags, squeezing out any liquid from them. Let the spices steep for another 15 minutes. Strain, removing all the spices. Add the honey and stir in. Taste, adding more honey if you like.
Cool completely.

I know that seems like quite a bit of time to devote to tea, but trust me, it's well worth all of the steeping time! After we finished the first batch, I doubled the recipe and made a second, and I've had a glass every day! I'm keeping the concentrate in a mason jar in the fridge.

This is one fantastic recipe!!!

Happy Saturday!

2011-10-08T19:21:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day.

I reigned in the pity party from yesterday, and I'm feeling much less mopey.

Infertility is complicated, and the emotions that accompany it are even more complicated. I'm just happy that my "bad" days are few and far between.

This season won't last forever, and I hope that this difficult road will give me the opportunity to understand what others are going through. Those who have been down this road and now have precious little ones have been such an encouragement to me, and I have every intention of paying it forward when I finally leap over this hurdle.

Jealousy

2011-10-07T18:18:00.000-07:00

This last week has been a little rough for me. I've been dreaming about our future little ones more than usual, and I've also been dealing with a nasty emotion - jealousy. I'm no stranger to the emotion that pulls you in slowly, deeper and deeper until you're drowning. Usually, I can recognize it, and keep from getting swept away. Today, though, I feel like I can't keep my head above water.

I was reading the book of Psalms and came across this passage:

But I cry to you for help, O Lord; in the morning my prayer comes before you. Why, O Lord, do you reject me and hide your face from me?

If I'm being totally honest, this is how I feel. Not every day... but today.

I wish that this process was easier. I wish that every time I got an intimate moment with my husband, I wasn't calculating cycle days in my head. I wish that I didn't have to stress about how we're going to pay for more fertility treatments come January. I wish that I had a guarantee that it would work. I wish I didn't feel like such a disappointment.

And I wish that I didn't struggle with jealousy as much as I do.

I want to be able to see a baby in church, and not have to will myself to hold it together. I want to teach the nursery without my heart breaking every time I have to help a little one get into the chair. I want to be happy for my mommy friends, without those nagging feelings of envy every time their child runs to them, or falls asleep on them, or even yells at them.

I don't want to be jealous, but today, I am.

Millie Has A Boyfriend

2011-10-06T11:30:00.000-07:00

It appears that our new "kitten" has grown-up and gotten herself a boyfriend. I am sad about this for two reasons:

1) She's obviously no longer a baby
2) She is driving us crazy

A couple of days ago, she was yelling so loudly that Josh got up to see what was going on. That's when we found this:

Meet the boy cat that lives next door:

He has been coming onto the porch every single day, and then meowing until Millie hears him. She races through the house knocking over anything in her path, until she crawls into the blinds and stares lovingly into his eyes for as long as he'll stay. It is nauseating really. When he leaves, she cries like her heart has been completely broken.

Needless to say, after a quick call to the vet, Miss Millie will be getting spayed next Wednesday. No baby kitties for us!

Laundry Room Inspiration

2011-09-27T16:34:00.000-07:00

Last week at the hotel in Evans, I was flipping through channels and came across a show on HGTV called Showhouse Showdown. Two designers have identical houses, and it's their job to design the entire house. There was this awkward front space, and I absolutely loved one of the designs. I loved it so much, that I think I may want to steal the paint idea for my laundry room.

I think it's time that I disclosed a secret. My name is Kristen, and I'm a stripe-a-holic (I would like to point out that on the first draft, I actually typed "strip-a-holic", which would have been a bold confession to make on the blog, don't you think?)

Anyhoo, earlier this year I painted my bedroom in stripes, but believe me when I tell you that it is super subtle. It's the same color, just alternating flat and glossy. That reminds me, I really need to take some pictures to post because it's beautiful! The issue is, that I can't find a lamp for my nightstand, and I haven't found curtains, and I haven't hung anything up, so it's still a bit unfinished. I'm hunting for stuff though, and as soon as I finish, I'll definitely show you the final product!

This post is totally not about my bedroom, but I've clearly gone there.

Back to the laundry room. Here's a picture of the entryway:

I love the bold stripes, the colors, all of it! My laundry room is small and narrow, and I loved how the stripes made the space feel so much more spacious! Even though he only did one wall, I think it would be interesting to stripe the entire room, yes? I don't know. Still throwing ideas around. I think Josh thinks it's "too much", but my theory is that I'm in there quite a bit more than he is :-)

I would definitely want a rug, maybe like this one from Target:

What do you guys think? Do you like the idea of the stripes?

Weight Loss Monday!

2011-09-26T06:23:00.000-07:00

I know, totally slacking in my WLM posts, right? Well, it's because I've been slacking in general to be honest! I'm at 8 pounds, which is great, but definitely could be at more at this point. Now, brace yourself for the excuses, ha! I dislike SparkPeople very much, which is the site I've been counting calories on. It's not very user-friendly, particularly when I want to add a recipe or use a pre-loaded item. I've been looking for another site, and I've decided that I'm going to join Weight Watchers online. I know numerous people who have had success on it, including lots of people in bloggyland. And the site is soooo much easier to use! So now I'm out of excuses! I'm hoping to start my 1-2 pounds a week back up right away! I have a lot of work left if I want to meet my goal before January, and I will achieve it!

Onto some exciting news! Remember the job I've been talking about? Well I had 2 interviews last week for it, and apparently I rock because I got the new job! Yipee!!!!! It's still at the wireless company that I work for, and actually still under the same umbrella, but it's a completely different role. I got a pretty nice raise along with the position, too, which makes me very happy! The new job doesn't look fun on paper - it's spreadsheets and numbers all day - but my OCD is pretty psyched. It's right up my alley and I think I'll love it! Now comes the terrible part of transitioning though! I've been in my current role for 2.5 years, so as you can imagine, it feels like I'm going to need months to train people, move things over, etc. Of course I don't have months. My new boss wants me by October 11th. I've braced myself - it's going to be a busy couple of weeks!

I'm Back!

2011-09-16T18:05:00.000-07:00

Staycation was absolutely amazing, but sadly, I had to hop back into reality on Monday and return to work. Sometimes I wonder if it's even worth taking a vacation because of the sheer volume of requests that need my attention when I return! You know what's really annoying? When someone sends an email, gets my out of office, and then sends three more emails that same week following up on the first one. Yep, that actually happened.

In other news, I thought I was done traveling for the year, but apparently I am not. I have to go to Colorado this week for some training. What's ironic, is that this trip does not fall under my scope of responsibility at all. I offered to go, because it was one of those things that I felt like was required, without actually being "required", if that makes sense. Can you feel my slight annoyance with work right now? I'm so blessed to have a job, and I don't ever forget that, but I just need a change. I'm still hoping that position that I applied for will interview soon. I think I have a good shot at it, and it would be just the change that I'm looking for.

Guess what the highlight of this week was?! Journey and Foreigner!!!!! We saw them in concert, and we had excellent floor seats that were really close to the stage. I'm an 80s baby, so I grew up on their music, and still LOVE it today. We bought tickets almost immediately when they went on sale. These guys were soooo talented. Today's musicians really don't have anything on the old school guys, only because people don't really care about that anymore. Everything is so digital that virtually anyone can have a career, talented or not. And let me tell you, the new Journey singer sounds SO much like Steve Perry that it's crazy. If you closed your eyes, I'd almost be willing to bet that you couldn't tell the difference. Forgive the quality of these pictures - my camera battery was completely dead so they were taken from a cell, but I love them anyway!

This is Journey

Journey's Lead Singer

This one needs no explanation...

Josh and I enjoying the show!

Let The Staycation Begin!

2011-09-05T20:28:00.000-07:00

I.AM.OFF!!!!

Oh yes people. This week, I will be taking a long overdue staycation, and I can't even begin to tell you the amount of happiness that this brings me!

So far we've done, well, nothing. Ha! We've watched some movies that have been sitting in the DVR for a few months, and we've set several more to record. We've snuggled, played with the cat, cooked together, and snuggled some more. I love the precious moments that Josh and I get to spend together when there is nothing going on. I can appreciate how simple our lives are at the moment.

I have a few big projects on the list, and I'm also taking advantage of the extra time by decorating for fall! I know it's a bit early, but my weeks tend to be pretty busy, and we're awfully close. I can't wait to share all of the fun stuff with you guys!

On a side note, I may have a new job opportunity coming up at work. Hopefully when I return, I'll have an interview waiting! Fingers crossed!

What's For Dinner?

2011-09-03T18:33:00.000-07:00

This week was a super busy week for me. So I wanted nothing more than some comfort food to relax with. Pasta and meatballs sounded AH-mazing, but that didn't seem like a good idea since I'm trying to watch what I eat. So I came up with an alternative, which is equally delicious and comforting!

Chicken Meatballs
2 lbs ground chicken
1/2 cup skim milk
2 eggs, beaten
1 t Oregano
1 t Italian Seasoning
1/2 c minced onion
3 cloves garlic
1/2 whole wheat bread crumbs
salt and pepper, to taste

First, preheat the over to 400.

Then, start by putting the chicken into a big bowl. Add all of the ingredients except the onion and garlic.

Finely chop the onion and garlic, and then dry sautee (no oil) them together for about 5 minutes. I wanted a stronger onion flavor, so I only did it long enough for the onions to begin to soften. If you don't want as strong of an onion flavor, you may want to cook them longer.

Add the onion and garlic right into the bowl, and then mix everything together with your hands.

Form meatballs that will fit into a mini muffin pan, and fill!

Cook the meatballs for approximately 20 minutes. I used a meat thermometer, and mine were perfectly done at 19 minutes.

This recipe made 30 meatballs, and a good serving size was 3 a piece. Which meant I had plenty to freeze and serve later!

I'm sure there are plenty of ways to serve these, but like I mentioned, I was going for comfort. I cooked up a very basic tomato sauce recipe and dropped the meatballs in for a minute, then served over some cooked quinoa. D-E-L-I-S-H! And super duper comforting - exactly what I needed.

Bellies & Babies

2011-08-31T18:22:00.000-07:00

Maybe I'm overly observant since we're trying to have a baby, but I swear, it seems like everyone in the state except me is pregnant or has a baby. Seriously.

I went in Target on my lunch break the other day, and that's apparently the time of the day that all the stay-at-home mommies shop. Everywhere I turned someone was playing with a little one. Three friends on Facebook just had a baby, and I currently have seven Facebook friends that are pregnant. I couldn't be happier for them, but it just makes my heart ache. I am longing so badly to be a mommy. As my 28th birthday is quickly approaching, my biological clock gets louder and louder. I want a minimum of three children, and I want to breastfeed each of them for about a year or so, so that puts me around 35 (if I get pregnant now) and quite honestly I may want more than three. It's so frustrating! WHY can't I just make it happen like normal, ya know?

Ah, I feel better now that I've vented! Gotta get it out sometimes!

Weight Loss Monday!

2011-08-29T11:14:00.000-07:00

I'm officially down SIX pounds! Woo hoo! Only four to go until it's mani time! :-)

I'm really excited about the amount I've lost. I know it's not too much yet, but I seriously feel fantastic. I've noticed the waistbands in all of my pants are fitting much better, and my skin is actually clearing up a little, too, which has been a very nice surprise! I need to start incorporating some exercise - I've been slacking on the exercise front. For me, that's the hardest, just because of time involved. I think I'm getting ready to sign up at the gym at work though, and I think that'll make it easier to squeeze some time in. Plus, I have some buddies here, so it'll give me someone to work out with (hi Molly, Em, and Miranda!)

So, I had a really awesome day at church yesterday. The sermon was absolutely fantastic, and at the end, the pastor said that he wanted to pray for some people in the church. He called Josh and I up, and then asked the church to join in prayer and began praying that we would be able to conceive. Once he finished praying, and we were walking back to our seats, the man sitting in front of us turned around with his Bible, and was teary-eyed. He's relatively new to our church, and didn't know that we were having trouble getting pregnant. Anyway, he said that he felt like God had given him a particular verse, but he didn't understand why, until he heard the pastor pray over us. The verse is in Luke 1:36-37, and it says "Even Elizabeth your cousin is going to have a child; she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God." How awesome is that?! Infertility is hard, and it's always nice to have the support of others in the journey - especially our church family. What a wonderful reminder that our babies are in God's hands, and will come in His perfect timing!

Home Organization Notebook

2011-08-26T19:35:00.000-07:00

Although I've been trying to reign in some of the chaos in my life, I'd never considered any type of organizer before. Then I saw Erin's post on her organizer, followed by Laura's. That was all the convincing that I needed to create something of my own.

Initially, I thought I would make an organizer. After all, creating my own would allow me to put exactly what I needed for my particular home, and would allow me to eliminate those things I didn't need since ~~I'm a total control freak~~ I know what I want. I went to work finding lists and links all over, and bought a binder, and some other staples for my notebook. I've been working on it for a couple of weeks, but I needed some dividers, so off to Target I went. While I was searching for dividers, I came across their planners section, and started flipping through for ideas. That's when I realized that most of them had everything that I needed, but packaged more nicely than my homemade notebook. Unfortunately, there were still a few things I wanted, and I also wanted a pretty one, because I'm a girl and I like pretty things :-)

Enter Erin Condren. After some researching, I've decided that I'm investing in this rather than making my own as originally planned. Although it's not as specific as my original, I can definitely make it work. There are a few things that I LOVE. I love the special dates page. It will allow me to keep track of birthdays (which is a huge opportunity of mine). There is also a Morning, Day, and Night breakdown that will allow me to not only track meals, but also track chores and blogging. The monthly overview will be used for appointments and other important reminders. The notes section in the back can be used for a few different things, but I'm definitely going to be using it to track Christmas cards and gifts received, which will be super helpful during holiday season!!!! It also comes with stickers, and let's face it, stickers rock!

I haven't ordered it yet (since it's such a recent discovery), but I can't wait to fill it up! Once I get it in, I definitely intend on showing you how it's helping me stay organized!

Super Embarrassing...

2011-08-24T17:10:00.000-07:00

You know those SUPER embarrassing moments that you feel like you could, literally, just die. Well, I had one of those today. Actually, about an hour ago.

I should first admit that I have a little confession. I sing and dance around my house almost daily. And by singing and dancing I mean wail at the top of my lungs while incorporating a sad, sad combination of old school dance moves with some occasional twirling. That alone, would be mortifying for anyone to witness. Today was a step beyond though.

So, I got home, took off my work clothes, and then just didn't get dressed. I was kindof hot, so I thought I would just walk around in my undies for awhile. I wanted to take some pictures of my home organization notebook to blog about, and I knew the best place to lay everything out would be the dining room table. Of course I go to the side that's right next to the window, because that's where the best light is. So I'm in the middle of my rendition of "It's Your Life" when I realize that there is a woman watching me.

Oh.Dear.

My neighbors are 80 years old, and they never, ever come outside, EVER. I've also never seen anyone visiting them. Lo and behold, they had a visitor today, who must've spotted me when she got out of her car. My dining room has a bay window, which faces the neighbor's driveway perfectly.

See, it's the window to the right, which, as you can see by the turned out chair, is exactly where I was shaking my booty.

There was really nothing to do at this point. Our eyes met, so there was no doubt she saw my performance. She quickly walked inside (probably to rinse her eyes out with bleach...)

I wasn't even in cute panties! Haha. You know the VS cotton ones that you've had for 3 years that are faded? Yep, that's what I'm sporting today.

I guess I can just be thankful that it was a middle aged woman, and not some hunky mail delivery boy ;-)

Of course, I didn't go anywhere near that window again, so I didn't get pics of the notebook, but I will take them as soon as I get home from work tomorrow (fully dressed).

Weight Loss Monday (On A Tuesday)

2011-08-23T18:00:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes - I know it's Tuesday. I have no excuses this week, haha.

I am officially down THREE pounds! I know it doesn't seem like alot, but it's a start, and it's three pounds that are gone! I'm pretty excited!

I've been really watching my diet, and I'm pretty much only eating lean meats, fruits, and veggies. The first few days, I felt like I was starving, but I think it was just my body coming off of the bad stuff. I don't think I was hungry, I think I just didn't feel satisfied. One of the hardest things to come off of has been soda. I wasn't a huge soda drinker, but I probably had a 12 oz can every other day at least. It's always been a good pick-me-up around 3, when I tend to feel like I need a snack.

Today, I feel great! I've been energetic, satisfied with my food, and finally feeling like maybe I can do this. Can't wait to hit the first 10!!!! I'm really looking forward to a mani :-)

Oh, and I'm pretty much done with the Home Organization Notebook!!! I'll be posting about it tomorrow!

Weight Loss Monday!

2011-08-16T08:24:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes, I know it's Tuesday, but in my defense, I worked for 10 hours yesterday, which translates into 13 hours when you count my hour commute both ways, and an hour lunch.

This past week was a bit of a challenge because I was traveling. It's always harder for me to eat healthy and exercise when I travel...

Despite that though, I lost a pound! Woo hoo! It's not the 2 that I was looking for, but it's a start!

So what did I eat yesterday? For breakfast I had yogurt and a banana, lunch was sushi, and dinner was the downfall of the day. Since I left work at 7, and knew I wouldn't be home until after 8, I just picked up Chipotle. I did split a chicken bowl with the hubby though, so I didn't eat the entire thing by myself (that earns me bonus points, right?!)

I can't WAIT to knock the first 10 out. I've decided an overdue mani will be my reward :-)

Some Overdue Updates, and A Goal!

2011-08-09T07:37:00.000-07:00

I know I kindof left you hanging with what we chose for our next steps on the baby front. Mostly, that's because we didn't really know. We've done lots of talking and planning, and the best decision for us was not the decision that I wanted at all. My insurance covers part of infertility, but there is an out-of-pocket deductible before that coverage kicks in. Regardless of whether we do a SOC (super ovulation cycle) or IVF, we'd have to pay that deductible. We knew that if IVF was an option we were considering, that we would need a few months to save for it, but the SOC is almost completely covered by my insurance after the deductible. My initial thought was that we could try 1-2 SOCs this year, and then if that didn't work, hop into IVF in January. The only thing is, that in January we'd have to pay that large deductible again, in addition to the IVF costs, so it's a big waste of money if the SOCs don't work. We decided to wait until January to start anything, that way we'll pay the deductible at the beginning of the year, and have a full 12 months to try. Hopefully, we wouldn't go into the next year without a pregnancy. So that's where we're at - just waiting.

I decided to take advantage of this waiting period, and I have set a goal to lose 40 pounds by the new year. It's definitely overdue, and I know that it will help in our efforts to conceive as well (especially if we end up needing to move to IVF). I'll be honest, that goal seems insanely big. But, I would only need to lose 2 pounds a week, which is totally doable. There are a couple of things that I'm doing to help me stay on track. I'm going to be counting calories via Spark People, and I'm committing to exercising at minimum 3 days a week, but ideally, 5 days a week.

I'm traveling to Bowling Green today, and thankfully, this should be my last trip for the year. I've noticed that when I travel, it's extremely difficult to eat right. Lunch is usually catered in, and dinner is usually at a really nice restaurant and includes appetizers and wine. It's easier to splurge when I'm not the one paying for it! Although it's fun to have a change of scenery once in awhile, I've been on the go for the last 6 months, and I'm ready to be at home the rest of the year. Being at home will definitely make it easier to drop the 40 pounds.

On Mondays, I'd like to tell you what I ate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner that day, and how much weight I lost at the morning weigh in. Committing publicly, and knowing that I have to touch base Monday with you guys is a way to hold myself accountable. Plus, I'll be rewarding myself with fun stuff at every 10 pounds!

So I'm starting this week, and I look forward to telling you all about it on Monday!

Some Things I'm Loving

2011-08-06T12:30:00.000-07:00

I love fresh tomatoes from the garden.

I love fresh peaches from my peach tree (which I ate before I could get a picture)

I love our newest addition.

I love that fall is right around the corner! It's my favorite season, which leads right into my favorite holiday (CHRISTMAS!!!!)

I love that my trip to Bowling Green, KY this week should be my last trip of the year for work.

I love sushi night at home with the hubby!

I love my new Home Organization Notebook! I'll be telling you all about that this week!

I love that we got some great pictures from my nephew's second birthday. This little guy melts Aunt Kristen's heart.

What are you loving right now?!

Crazy Weather!

2011-08-04T18:24:00.000-07:00

We had some bad storms come through Tennessee yesterday! I spent the day in Atlanta for work, so we drove up yesterday morning, and then came back home yesterday evening. On our way home, it started lightening. I'm not sure if those of you up North experience this or not, but it looked like "heat lightening" (and no, that isn't the technical term...).

It was absolutely beautiful for about half an hour, and we ooohed and ahhed, but then the sky opened up. We hit a wall of water, and stayed in it for a good 20 minutes! Everyone had their hazards on, there were cars pulled over on the side of the highway, and you really couldn't see anything at all. Of course it didn't help that by this time it was dark. Fortunately, I was with 2 of my co-workers, so I didn't have to drive in it.

By the time I got home, it had calmed down a little, but apparently came through again. I was exhausted from 8 hours in the car and 5 hours of working in the middle, so I passed out. But this morning I found out that this was happening only 10 minutes away from me.

This is my cousin's house (hi Jenn!). That's her bedroom underneath the tree. Everyone is okay, but there was plenty of damage. Lots of water poured in after the tree fell, so late last night, they were up trying to clear things out of the rain coming inside. I can imagine that's not very fun at all.

We didn't have any damage at my house, but I know it was windy because our trash cans were in the middle of the back yard this morning. Thank goodness that was the extent of it!

Baby Shower Fun!

2011-07-31T14:09:00.000-07:00

I've been busy, busy planning a baby shower for my good friend Vicki. We had it last week, and it all came together beautifully! If you guys are ever hosting anything, you have to check out this site. It's seriously amazing and has so many great ideas! We went with the Mod Monkey theme since the baby's nursery will be decorated in monkeys.

We had the shower at our church, so please excuse the music equipment in the background.

The "M" is for Mom, and Monkey!

Our "trees" - glass cylinders wrapped in scrapbook paper, and topped with a styrofoam ball covered in tissue paper.

Mom-to-be had lots of fun :-)

Only 9 more weeks until we meet baby Cade!!

Did You Know?

2011-07-20T19:02:00.000-07:00

Did you know that it is really difficult to good a good picture of a kitten that doesn't sit still and wants to chew on the camera? Well it is. Very. Difficult.

Meet the newest member of our family - Millie :-)

She chews on everything, including my fingers.

But she is a total snugglebug, too.

I forgot how sweet (and destructive) new kitties are. And funny. Oh so funny.

She wants to sleep on top of us. Literally. I assume it's because we are warm, since neither of us sleeps in a shirt, but she does her very best to cuddle at night. Last night, she draped her entire body across my neck and started purring. After insisting that Josh roll over to witness this cuteness, of course I had to move her. So then she kept trying to cuddle on my chest, but she had a hard time getting comfortable on my...eh hem...hilly bits. She settled for right in between us, stretched out so her front feet were touching me and her back feet were touching Josh.

We have learned a few valuable lessons this week:

We cannot leap off of the second story balcony onto the tile below (oh yes, she did)
We do not play in the litter box
The clicking that results from my typing on the laptop does not mean that we go insanely crazy and must play,play,play RIGHTNOW
4 AM is not when we wake up

Obviously there is much to be learned. She is adjusting well though, and we are completely and totally in love with this 2 pounds of crazy!

How Do You Say It?

2011-07-11T19:20:00.000-07:00

I've been stuck the last couple of weeks. I've had something that I've tried to describe over and over, but I can't make it make sense when it's out of my head. It doesn't even really make sense in my head. I've hit this point in my life where I desperately want to make changes. In virtually every single aspect of everything. This waiting game for baby has really stirred up some unfinished business. I want to eat better, exercise more, read the bible more, make time to worship, minister to others, sever some bad friendships, develop some great ones, do something I'm passionate about every single day....

All of these things put together seem impossible, so I've been trying to make a plan of my next steps, but that's my problem. I tend to plan instead of do. I live under this false impression that there is always tomorrow, but that's just ignorance. We aren't promised tomorrow, and even if we are, it's gone in the blink of an eye. My routine has become totally monotonous - gone 11 hours a day for work (including commute time), come home and cook dinner, hang out with Josh for a couple of hours, then go to bed. I'm not at all passionate about the job that I have (although I know that I am blessed to have it), and I'm sortof in this place in my life where I feel like I don't really have a purpose. Only, I know better than that. I know that I do have a purpose, and that it's just a matter of finding it.

And that's not all. All of a sudden, I have this passionate and desperate desire to make sure that the people that I love do the same thing. I want my family, and my friends to find their purpose and their passion, and then live in it. I want them to have friendships that are priceless. I want them to live better, and be as happy as they can be. I know that a lot of people say they are happy - but is there more to happy then they think? What if there is so much more, and they can't even fathom what could be because they are too afraid to make the next step. Or they don't know where to begin?
I guess the bottom line of my soapbox rant is that I want to matter. If change starts with one person, I want to be the person. I want to say that things are not okay, and that I'm not content, and I want to create positive change. I want to be set apart, and I want to be someone that others can mirror. I want my actions to speak so much louder than my words. I want people to know that I'm choosing to be different.

I'm Stuck

2011-07-09T21:49:00.000-07:00

I am stuck people. I've literally started 8 posts, and I can't seem to finish them. I'm having a temporary brain lapse!

Sunday Nonsense

2011-06-26T15:03:00.000-07:00

Whoa! Who's been away for awhile!
(raises hand in shame...)

This week my head has been all over the place, so get ready for a post that is all over the place, too.

Tuesday was the most awesome show I've ever been to. Ever. Not in terms of talent (Celine Dion still holds that record for me), but in terms of total fun-ness!!!! (that's so totally a word)

NKOTBSB!!!!

Oh yes, people. I was there.

I cannot even begin to describe the noise level. Nonstop screaming for two and a half hours at a decibel that could shatter glass. I could count on one hand the number of men there. All of the women there were between the ages of 25-40, but that's what made it so fun. Everyone got a night to re-live their teenage years. I went with three of my girlfriends, and we screamed and danced the entire time!

I saw my first episide of Toddlers and Tiaras. It made me a little sad. There were 5 year old girls getting acrylic nails, fake hair extenstions, and tons of makeup. What happened to being a kid?!

We got the quotes from our insurance company for a SOC (super ovulation cycle) and IVF. We've been talking, but still haven't made a firm decision on next steps.

I totally love iced coffee. I'm not a hot coffee drinker, but iced coffee is ahmazing. It rocks my world.

Our dear friends Rachel and Michael got married last night, and had a beautiful wedding! Michael is the same age as my brother Michael, and they have been the best of friends since around 4th grade. He's basically a part of our family, so it was an emotional day. The wedding was outdoors, and it was so beautiful, that there wasn't even really a need for many decorations. There was a wooden bridge over a creek, weeping willow trees, and magnolias in full bloom.

Today has been pretty lazy. We didn't get home till super late, so we slept in, and then Josh had to go to work. I've been camped on the couch watching Say Yes to the Dress. Makes me want to go buy another wedding dress. Ten year vow renewal next year maybe???? :-)

And there you have it. My collection of totally random and unorganized thoughts! Hope you've all had a fantastic weekend!

What I Choose

2011-06-15T16:43:00.000-07:00

Today was better, for the most part, though I'd be lying if I said I haven't been struggling with the decision I need to make.

I wanted to pray on the way home, and just pour my heart out, but I couldn't. I wanted to pray for wisdom, and peace in our decision, but I just...couldn't. What came out was an angry rant filled with questions that I don't understand and feel like I deserve answers to. God knows my heart, so there's no point in trying to hide what's there - regardless of how bitter it sounds.

I find when I read the bible, that it's sometimes hard for me to relate to the people in the stories. But Hannah is my exception. We're "friends", so to speak. I started thinking about Hannah when I got home. About how her situation was so much worse, and how desperate she must have been. She lived in a time where there were no fertility specialists, no magic pills or shots. She was considered to be unfavored by God, because she didn't have children, and as if that wasn't bad enough, her husband married a second wife who could have children. Although I've certainly had my fair share of "what if Josh wants to be married to someone who can have a baby" thoughts, I can't imagine the kindof devastation she must have felt when her husband actually did marry someone else who could do what she couldn't. She had every reason in the entire world to feel bitter and angry, and to give up, but she didn't. Despite her unfair set of circumstances, she chose to have faith that God would somehow bless her with a baby, and He did.

(in floods the apology) Okay God. Sorry that I yelled.

So despite the fact that I want to be angry, and sad, and mad, and pouty, I choose to not be. I choose to have faith that everything will work out. I choose to believe that there is a greater plan in all of this. I choose to believe that somehow, I can bring glory to Him in my struggle, and maybe encourage someone else. I choose to believe that when I don't feel like I have the strength to deal with all of this, that He does. I choose not to only praise Him circumstantially. I choose to believe His promises. I choose joy.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 6:6-7

Not What I Was Hoping For...

2011-06-14T11:00:00.000-07:00

Today was our second ultrasound to see if we had responded to the Clomid that I've been taking for what feels like an eternity. I've been all crampy and bloaty, so I was fully expecting to see several nice sized eggs. He found one egg, but it only measured 6mm, which is way too small to do anything with. Disappointed is an understatement.

Since I'm obviously not going to respond to Clomid, he wants to move forward and try something else. At this point, he explained that we have two different options: an injectable cycle, or IVF. My initial thought was that we would move onto injectable meds if this didn't work, but he is very hesitant to go there. He said that we can definitely try, but that it's really hard to find a dosage that will only produce one or two eggs, as opposed to seven or eight. If we did produce that many, he would obviously have to cancel the cycle, or convert it to an IVF cycle.

He has triplets, so he told us from a personal perspective how hard that many babies are. And our goal is one baby, not multiples. All of the "famous" high order multiples (John & Kate + 8, Sextuplets by Surprise, etc) are not IVF babies. They are injectable+IUI babies, which is where his hesitation comes from. And I've made it clear that we will not do any type of selective reduction (further reason to be extra cautious with this option).

We spent a long time talking about IVF, and the process, cost, and all of that good stuff. I don't know that much about it, so I had quite a few questions about the process. My biggest concern was the "extra" embryos. Josh and I believe that life begins at conception, and we can't just throw away fertilized embryos once we are finished. He was very supportive of that, and said that we would decide before hand how many eggs to fertilize based on a variety of factors, but that they wouldn't fertilize more than I could use/freeze. The pregnancy rate with IVF is pretty high as well, and they wouldn't implant any more than two embryos if we did it, ensuring that we didn't have a litter of babies.

I feel so...bummed. We were both not expecting news like this, so we were kindof sitting there in shock as he was explaining everything. I thought I would be sad if I didn't respond this month, but more than sad I feel guilty, like this is my fault and that I did something wrong. I just don't understand why I'm having to try so hard to make a baby. It's unfair to have to pay thousands of dollars to have a baby, when people who shouldn't have babies have them every single day. I don't mean to be all "woe is me" but I just want to pout for a little while.

The Time Where I Spilled Paint On My Head...

2011-06-13T09:06:00.000-07:00

Remember how I was painting my bedroom? You know, the very quick project that I started 2 months ago?

*crickets*

Wellllllllllllll, I'm finally finished! And by finished, I mean the painting is finished. The cleaning up part? Notsomuch.

(yes, yes, there will be pictures)

And I didn't finish without a disaster. And by disaster I mean spilling paint on my head. Fun times.

Here's how it went down. Josh and I had a ~~fight~~ slight disagreement last night. It's rare in the Lynch household, but it does happen occasionally. While I was ~~pouting~~ folding some laundry, Josh had been finishing up the last coat of paint. I saw him pick up the roller, and so I assumed that he was finished with the ladder, which I needed. I grabbed the ladder, and (imagine this next part in slow motion) the large container of paint that was sitting on the top of the ladder fell. And by fell, I mean it practically exploded and coated my hair, my face, my entire body, my feet and flip flops, the hardwood floor, the ladder, the bathroom tile, and the legs of my new bed and nightstand. I couldn't make this up people.

Remember that I am already mad, so I do *not* find this even remotely funny. I strip off my clothes and shoes, and wipe what is running off of my face/hair/feet/body, then proceed to spend the next half hour cleaning up the spilled paint naked and muttering very nasty things about the person whose name starts with J that left a container of paint on top of the ladder. Because seriously, who looks at the top of a ladder?! (HELLO I'm fivefootONE)

That was followed by the longest shower in history, where I spent, at minimum, a half an hour scrubbing till I was bright red and the paint was mostly off.

Fast forward two hours. We're in the bedroom, Josh asks me if I can see the mark on the wall, I say that I don't see anything, and he says, "It's probably from all of the paint in your eyes", and we both started laughing. Just like that, our fight was done.

Lazy Saturday

2011-06-11T13:59:00.000-07:00

This morning I had big, big plans. I was going to do laundry, work on the flower beds that are ~~ridiculously out of control~~ in need of just a tiny bit of TLC, decorate my dining room table with something, and cook a wonderful dinner tonight.

It's 4 PM, none of those things have been done, and I am sitting in my pajamas watching Meg Ryan in French Kiss. Clearly, my day has been productive.

I feel slightly less guilty since Josh is asleep on the other couch.

Happy lazy Saturday!

Try It Tuesday - Healthy(er) Cupcakes!

2011-06-07T16:42:00.000-07:00

This weekend my mom, her husband, my brother and my nephew came over Sunday afternoon for lunch. I recently discovered that I can roast a chicken marvelously well, so I was anxious to show off my skills! I made a broccoli salad and roasted sweet potatoes to go alongside the chicken. The hold up, however, was what to make for dessert. I didn't want anything heavy; I wanted something that was light and summer-y.

Behold, Orange Pineapple Cupcakes!

Ingredients
1 (18.25 oz) pkg yellow cake mix
4 egg whites
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
1 (16 oz) can mandarin oranges in juice
1 (3.5) box instant vanilla pudding
1 (20 oz) can crushed pineapples in juice
1 (12 oz) container fat free Cool Whip

Instructions
Mix cake, eggs, applesauce and oranges.
Beat on high about 6 minutes (This is a very important step - it will double your batter)
Fill cupcake liners 90% full
Bake 15(ish) minutes at 325 degrees, or until cake is done.
Let cool.
Mix pudding and pineapple with juice, fold in a large tub of whipped topping.
Top cake with this.
NOTES: Refrigerate.

A couple of things. Normally when making cupcakes, you only fill the liners half full or three fourths of the way full. That's what I did with the first batch, and that's when I learned that these cupcakes barely rise at all. This was what the first batch looked like:

The second batch, I filled the liners to here:

PERFECT!

These cupcakes got great reviews from my family, and Josh and I have been eating on them for a couple of days now! They are absolutely DELISH!

A Little Bad, but Mostly Good

2011-06-02T19:12:00.000-07:00

Tuesday I had my first ultrasound appointment with Dr.Fabulous. The goal was to have some mature eggs, so we could establish a date to do the trigger shot and IUI. Josh went with me, because we thought all would go as planned and he would need instructions on giving the injection. It took less than 5 minutes to determine that we didn't have any mature eggs.

First, he measured my uterine lining, which looked good. Then he went to the right ovary, where I didn't see any follicles at all. When he moved to the left, I'm almost positive that I saw two, but he said I only had "small" eggs and that we weren't going to be able to trigger ovulation this week. Bummer.

Here's the good news though. I thought since we didn't have any mature eggs, this entire cycle would just be a bust. Instead, he put me back on Clomid for another 10 days and set a follow-up for June 14th, with a tentative IUI date of June 16th. He seems confident that we can still save this cycle. I sure hope so! I did notice that yesterday I started having some slight cramping - not sure if that means something is happening, but hopefully!

Since we thought we would be doing the IUI this week, Josh has a work trip planned for the week of the 13th, which is when everything is supposed to go down. We told the nurse, and she said they would just freeze his sample this week, free of charge, so that we could still do the procedure even while he is traveling. How awesome is that?! I am a little nervous to do it without him. I really have no idea at all what to expect, and not having him with me freaks me out. Guess it's time to put on my big girl panties!

Memorial Day Fun in Pictures!

2011-05-30T18:33:00.000-07:00

We hung out at my dad's house today. We headed to the lake on the boat, and my nephew Aiden loved it! Of course I had to get some pictures :-)

This one makes me laugh. My sweet Aiden will be 2 next month so he is finally developing a little attitude. I was trying to get a picture and I told him to say "cheese". He scowled at me instead!

My brother and Aiden on the boat.

Me and the honey!

Aiden after an unexpected BIG splash

Helping Poppy (my daddy) drive the boat

4 out of 5 pics are of the baby. Can you tell that his Aunt Kristen is absolutely in LOVE with him?! That sweet little boy melts my heart!

Hope you all had a wonderful day, too!!!!!

Happy Memorial Day!

2011-05-30T08:56:00.000-07:00

Memorial Day is such a special day!!!

Although I'm SO very grateful to ALL of our service men and women, I remember the selflessness of my little brother, who served in the US Marines. He served 3 tours in Iraq and Afghanistan when he was just a kid, and came back totally and completely changed. He was in Infantry, which is the group that serves on the front lines. Over the course of his 4 years that he served, he lost 20+ good friends in combat. I've been fortunate enough to have not ever lost a good friend, so I can't even fathom that kind of loss.

It's been several years since he finished his service in the Marines, but I will never, ever forget it. He is the bravest person I know, and my personal hero.

Happy Memorial Day to our soldiers. To all of the people that made the ultimate sacrifice, and gave their lives - it was not in vain. We'll remember.

Sunday Food for Thought

2011-05-29T14:47:00.000-07:00

This past week, I saw this status on someone's Facebook:

"The fear of God is being so in love with our God, that the idea of doing something that grieves Him and tarnishes our witness of His glory strikes terror in our hearts."

Underneath, someone commented this:

"Relateable to husband and wife. The fear of interfering with the dynamics, and purity of that relationship, or doing something that would grieve our spouse, it strikes terror in my heart, as well. Covenant with God...Covenant with spouse......Both are unbreakable, and irrevocable, to the marriage committed to Christ. When we love someone, we fear to hurt them, so we protect that Covenant, and the one we love. The greatest Love was demonstrated, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us, giving Himself up for us. Isn't that what we should give back to Him? And our spouses?"

I've re-read it several times since I originally saw it. That description is so very basic, and easy to understand; yet, I still have a hard time "walking the walk" all the time.

It's not as hard for me to be that committed to my husband. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt him. I would never try to represent him badly to anyone, even if I didn't agree with a decision that he made. I think about how my actions could reflect on our marriage, so I'm careful with who I associate with, and how I act in public, even when I'm not around him.

As a Christian, I should also represent Jesus that way. Yet, I don't always. I have my fair share of flaws, and do things every single day that probably grieve Him. I get caught up in the office gossip, sometimes get angry because His timing isn't mine, don't work to the best of my ability, don't offer kindness as often as opportunity presents itself... There are so many things that I do wrong, and yet He loves me anyway. Unconditionally. That's got to be the most beautiful truth that there is. God's grace - undeserved, unmerited, but freely given.

Lord, help me to be the woman that you've created me to be. Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering, and the willingness to bear all things. Take my old emotional habits, mindsets, automatic reactions, rude assumptions, and self-protective stance, and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. Break down any hardness in my heart. Work in me your love, peace, and joy. Help me to represent You in a way that displays Your heart, and draws others closer to You.

Blogger Problems and A Project!

2011-05-28T16:24:00.000-07:00

First of all, I'm going to complain. Blogger has a known issue that's preventing me from commenting on some of the blogs I follow! I've discovered that the only problem I have is when the comment section is embedded, rather than a pop-up. If it is embedded, the "anonymous" option still works, but I can't comment with my Google account. I've also received a couple of e-mails from people who were trying to comment on my blog and had the same problem. I've updated my comments to a pop-up window, so I think that should resolve the issue until Blogger gets a fix in.

http://knownissues.blogspot.com/2011/05/were-investigating-issue-which-is.html

Now onto the good stuff! I've been putting off a project for quite sometime that I finally finished this weekend, and I am soooo excited about it! We have a desk in the corner of our kitchen. It's where our mail goes, but it's also become the "unload" spot, too. When Josh gets home, he literally empties his pockets on the desk. The next day, he'll only grab a few things, but leave all of the change, receipts, and other random stuff there. We also kindof suck at mail. Every bill we have is auto drafted, so we're bad about throwing the mail on the desk and not looking through it for weeks. I'm sure by now you can guess what the desk looked like. It's been messy and unorganized for several months, and even when I cleaned the house, I neglected the desk. Every single time I walked by I felt stressed out, but I just didn't know where to start.

First things first, I bought this:

It's a leather catch-all. I put it on Josh's nightstand, so he can unload his pockets there. I think this will cut down on all of the clutter tremendously!

Next, I went through all the mail, one piece at a time. It took a couple of hours, but I finally regained control, and this is the end result:

There are 2 mail bins on the desk - one for us, and one for Josh's business since we frequently get mail at our house for them.

Now, every single time I walk by the desk, I'm totally happy. YAY for finished projects!!!! :-)

I'm Back!

2011-05-27T12:42:00.000-07:00

It was so very nice to get away for a few days! I didn't realize how desperately I needed a break from work! It can get so stressful sometimes, and I think a nice long break is just what I needed.

We do an annual vacation with the in-laws, and this year we went to Gatlinburg. We rented an enormous cabin, and piled in for several days. It was 5 stories, complete with an indoor pool and a theater room. With a cabin like that, there really isn't much of a need to leave. We spent the week playing board games, watching movies and playing water volleyball. Funny story about the volleyball... we had this huge beach ball that we were hitting back and forth in the pool, but there wasn't a net of any sort. My father-in-law found some extra sheets, and tied them together. He brought in two rocking chairs from outside and ties the sheets to the chairs to rig up a net. It was hilarious, but worked perfectly! We played at least 6 or 7 games! My mother-in-law snapped a picture on her phone, and you can see the rocking chair/sheet "net".

We also went zip lining, which I was really not looking forward to. I'm absolutely terrified of heights, and that is not my idea of fun. I'm glad I actually toughed it out, because it wasn't nearly as bad as I anticipated. There were 6 lines total, and each one the instructor made you do something different. For example, the first one was very basic, and you sat on the ledge and scooted off. The second one, they made you take a running leap off the platform and let go of the rope with both hands. The most challenging for me required you to jump off the platform backwards and flip upside down. It took me forever to jump, and finally the guide was like "jump or I'll push you" and that did it. I was sooooo scared, but I still tried to go upside down. I couldn't let go all the way, so I ended up going partially upside down. They should be happy that they at least got that much participation ;-)

Here is a phone picture of everyone that went. There were a few too little to go, so it's not our entire group, but it's most of us. Yes, my husband's family is that big.

I look forward to this time away with his family, mostly because it reminds me of the family vacations I had when I was growing up. My parents divorced when I was in high school, but up until that point, we did family vacations every year. I miss those vacations so very much. Although my parents have both been remarried for 8 years now, I still miss our family when it was just us, and quite honestly, I still long for that togetherness. Fortunately, I have SO many great memories of my family vacations growing up! I know that some people don't have special memories like that, so I'm very thankful that we always had opportunities to do fun things together.

I'm also very thankful that I have wonderful in-laws. I honestly don't know too many people that have a great relationship with their spouse's parents, but I adore mine! They totally, and completely rock!

About Time....

2011-05-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

for a VACATION! I'm in Gatlinburg for a few days with the in-laws, so I'll be MIA.

Be back soon! :-)

Fertility Fun

2011-05-22T09:07:00.000-07:00

This week I started my fertility meds! I'll be on 100mg of Clomid for 10 days this cycle. I know it's silly, but I was almost giddy Friday when I took the first dose! So far, so good. I seem to be just a little queasy, but I remember feeling that was the last time I was on Clomid, too. No crazy mood swings or hot flashes though (which Josh appreciates).

Fedex also delivered the trigger shot last week. Unfortunately, I can't get a good picture of it now, because it needs to stay wrapped up until we use it, but this needle is the size of my hand. It's enormous! I thought I was going to have a panic attack when I saw it - seriously, I have NO idea how that entire needle will go into me without hitting a bone...or a kidney. I'm trying to remind myself that it's just one injection, and that people do way more than that for babies, but I am seriously being a total wuss. I've never given myself any type of shot, and I don't know that I have ever seen a needle that size. Every time I look at it, I freak out, so I've "hidden" it under a pile of clothes. I'm not dealing with it until I have to.

Our ultrasound appointment is the 31st, and we'll have to take the shot with us so that they can show us how to do it. There are a couple of vials that will have to be mixed together, and the needle is not connected to the syringe, so we don't know how to do that either. Fun times people, fun times.

Almost one year ago today (5/24/10) was my very first ever appointment with a RE. I left that appointment feeling so hopeless and sad. I just can't get over that in that year, I've done an HSG, lots of labwork, found Dr.Fabulous, and I'm actually actively trying. Will this be the year?! Let's hope so :-)

Slightly Preoccupied

2011-05-14T19:28:00.000-07:00

Anyone read the Twilight series?!

That's what I've been doing for the last week - every.single.waking.moment.

I finished all four books in six days, and I must say, they are fantastic!

I was the most anti-Twilight person ever. I've wanted absolutely nothing to do with it for several years. For a couple of reasons. Number one, I refused to devote my time to something that was so geared towards teenage girls. Number two, I don't do scary, freaky, vampires at all. I generally reside in a happy bubble, and vampires are not part of it.

I came home a couple of weeks ago, and Josh was recording the first two movies. After yelling at him about it, I gave in and we watched the first one on a Friday night. I loved it. We woke up Saturday morning and watched the second. I couldn't stand not knowing what happened, so I bought the books. On a side note, I'm pretty sure he's annoyed that I know what happens and he doesn't. He likes the story, too.

I would very highly recommend the books (which of course, are WAY better then the movies!) Good vampires, who don't harm humans, that sparkle in the sunlight. Boys that turn into wolves to protect from the bad vampires. A wonderfully passionate love story. What's not to love?!

I Am Not A Terrorist....

2011-05-06T11:01:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in the Tucson airport, with an hour and a half before my flight. Apparently the two hour rule does not apply to this airport, since it took me approximately 3 minutes to get checked in and to the front of the security line. That is where all of the fun began.

I think I'm a good traveler. I don't wear hair accessories, or bulky jewelry, or big shoes and belts because I like confidently walking through the scanner without having to stop. I feel like the person manning the scanner is also appreciative of us travelers that make their job easier, because let's face it, unless you're the one that catches the one terrorist, that job pretty much sucks.

(On a side note, how cool would it be if you DID catch a terrorist?! Maybe you would get to go to the White House, and the President would be all "Get her whatever she wants! And get her some super cool sunglasses. You are all fired, so she will be my new security guard and I will entrust her with national security as well.")

(Seriously, that could TOTALLY happen!)

(Perhaps I should rethink my job as civilian, and begin my training as an airport scanner worker.)

Anywhoo. Today, I'm wearing a cotton t-shirt, cotton skirt, and flip-flops. As I'm going through the line, thinking about how I'm going to be the new line favorite, the beeper goes off and people from twenty feet away turn to see who the terrorist is setting off the alarm. I'm asked to remove myself from the line and I'm escorted a couple of feet away to a glass box. At this point, everyone is watching to see what will happen. So the scanner lady explains that I've been randomly chosen to participate in a pat down. (YAY FOR ME!) The problem here, is the skirt. It's apparently a requirement that they feel up your thighs and around your lady business to ensure you aren't wearing garters with bombs and grenades hidden inside. So rather than reaching up my skirt (which I appreciate...) I am asked to lunge forward into a position that looks like the Warrior Pose. While in position, she starts at my ankle and feels all the way up my entire leg. Then I get to swap and we do the other leg. This, my friends, is awkward.

It's unfortunate that no one was with me to snap a quick photo, because I can imagine that you would all have quite a good laugh if only you had seen me getting felt up while showing off my impressive yoga skills.

(Due to the girth of my thighs, from not doing said yoga enough, there would have definitely been some photo editing....)

Now that I have graduated back to non-terrorist, I'm about to slip into a blissful Dramamine induced coma and hope that there will be no more airport fun today.

Nashville, here I come!!!

On The Road Again...

2011-05-05T12:01:00.000-07:00

I am currently in Tucson, AZ for work. It is hot, and there is a cloud of dust everywhere you go. I am ready to go home. That is all.

What Not To Say

2011-04-30T19:07:00.000-07:00

Today is the last day of Resolve's National Infertility Awareness Week. In honor of the week, I thought I would do a post on what not to say to a woman trying to conceive. I fully believe that people with good intentions simply don't know what they should say, and they try to offer encouragement the only way that they know how. Unfortunately, what begins with good intentions can often result in hurt feelings for the recipient. I've dealt with many hurtful comments from close friends and family, and so has every other person that's ever dealt with infertility. So in case you know of someone who's trying, keep these 'what not to say' pointers in mind. If you've already said these things, have no worries. Most likely, the person on the receiving end knows how much you love her, and she isn't dwelling on it.

"Just Relax"
I've heard this one more than any other! I think it probably stems from the fact that everyone knows someone that accidentally got pregnant. Unfortunately, relaxing doesn't cure medical issues. Over 95% of couples that are dealing with infertility are dealing with a physical issue, not a stress issue. While not conceiving easily does cause stress, it's generally not the root cause of the problem. This statement is frustrating and there really isn't a good response for someone who has just received this advice. I've often wondered what would happen if I launched into the whole, "well actually, I've been tested and no amount of relaxing will make me ovulate regularly..." speech, but I generally just smile and walk away.

"Just Adopt and You'll Get Pregnant"
Oh if only it were that easy. There isn't any such thing as "just adopting". Adoption costs anywhere from $25,000 - $40,000, and takes years. What's more, there are situations where families waiting for infants domestically aren't ever chosen to receive a baby! There are no guarantees. In my situation, it is very possible that one day I may ovulate on my own. When I was regularly doing ovulation predictor kits, I did catch a month or two out of several years that I ovulated normally. So it's possible, that one of those months, I could get pregnant without assistance. That can happen with, or without, adoption.

"It's God's Plan"
For me, as a Christian, this is the most hurtful. I fully disagree with this statement and I could write volumes on why I disagree with it. I won't here, but please understand that this is really not a nice thing to say in any circumstance regarding infertility. Women having trouble conceiving may already been wavering in their faith, as infertility often carries guilt and self-blame. Take an opportunity to uplift instead!

"I'll Be Your Surrogate"
Believe it or not, I've also heard this one from numerous people, some that I don't even know very well. I know that people don't intend for this to be cruel, but it can cause hurt feelings. Surrogacy is only appropriate in limited situations, and really is a very last resort for most people. It's insanely expensive, and very complicated. For most couples, this will never be an option due to the type of infertility they are experiencing. For a woman dealing with infertility, this is yet another reminder that it seems everyone else can have children but her. It tends to add to the guilt of not being able to get pregnant and needing to rely on someone else.

*Obviously this is appropriate in some situations. I'm just providing a general overview*

Again, I know that it's hard to know what to say, or how to act around someone trying to conceive! Women are especially nurturing, and it's in our nature to try to provide advice and comfort to a hurting friend. Here are some suggestions as alternatives.

If you're a Christian, let your friend know that you are praying for her, then do it. I don't think you can ever go wrong here. I have lots of women praying for me, and I am so appreciative of that type of support.

On a day that seems particularly hard for your friend, write her a note to let her know that you're thinking of her.

Send flowers.

Listen. This one is important. If you have a friend trying to conceive, chances are that she would love to vent sometimes, but is scared of being bombarded with advice. It's nice to have friends that I can talk to that simply listen.

Lend a shoulder to cry on.

Offer a hug or a kind touch. A couple years back at a Mother's Day service at church, when they asked the mothers to stand up, a woman sitting next to me put her hand over the top of mine, and held it for a minute. That simple gesture meant so very much to me.

So you see, there are plenty of alternatives to advice. Most women dealing with infertility don't want it unless they ask, or unless you've been there.

I hope that you don't have too many people in your life struggling with infertility, but if you do, I hope that this has been a helpful list!

THE Appointment!!!!

2011-04-28T11:08:00.000-07:00

Tuesday morning was my appointment with the new fertility specialist and I.LOVE.HIM!!!!!!

I had been soooo nervous because of how the first doctor was, and I thought I was going to cry before I even walked into the office Tuesday. I had tissue in the car, and was completely prepared to cry the whole way home trying to figure out how we were ever going to have a baby. I was a wreck. I ended up being a little late, which made me more nervous, but from the very moment I walked in the door, it was like night and day from the last office. I'd only waited a couple of minutes and someone came out to apologize for the wait and see if I needed anything to drink. Seriously?! Good staff, check.

After a brief 10 minute wait, I went back. First they did the standard weight and blood pressure, and then I got to go meet the doctor (who I'll refer to as Dr.Fabulous). He was so warm and friendly right from the get go, and I liked him immediately. He started out with the standard "tell me a little about yourself and why you're here" question. At the last doctor, I got fussed at because I didn't know exact dates, and so in order to avoid that scenario, I spent quite awhile the night before timelining my entire history in great detail. When I pulled out the notebook, he kindof laughed and said I was "obviously very prepared". Haha. Here's where things got wonderful. At my last experience, I spent 3+ hours being interrogated on every single detail of my history, my life, my body, sex, etc. It was completely humiliating. Dr.Fabulous says, "I don't need to know every single detail about your life, because I've read your chart, and really, those little details don't change anything at all about what we're going to do to get you pregnant" (breathe a huge sigh of relief....)

I should mention here that he is a teacher at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, because it totally came through in the consult. He whips out some flipchart paper, and starts drawing what's going on with my wacky hormones. Apparently, the breakdown is a an incorrect ratio of LH/FSH. I thought I was pretty educated, but not-so-much. He took a very long time drawing graphs and pictures and explaining in very great detail why I wasn't ovulating regularly. It was wonderful! He totally encouraged me to ask questions, and answered each one patiently, without making me feel stupid. When he was all done, I really did understand exactly what was going on.

After that, he explained that 95% of cases he treats are ones where ovulation is the issue, and he assured me that he is very confident in his ability to get me pregnant. He said that he thinks there is a possibility he can have me pregnant within a few months. Ya'll, that's when I totally lost it. I started crying, because for the first time in a very long time I felt hopeful. Because I'm at the very end of a cycle, the next one is too soon, but he wants to start treatment immediately. So I have to get some bloodwork on Monday, then the following Tuesday (May 10th) I go back for the "game plan" appointment, where we'll get prescriptions and instructions and all of that good stuff.

The action plan is this. For at least 2 cycles, he wants to use Clomid as the baseline drug. Although I've been on Clomid before, he said because of the hormone issues, there are "extra" things we may add via injections, depending on how the bloodwork comes back. We'll also do a really low dose for a long period of time - like 10 days. Mid-cycle I'll go in for an ultrasound to make sure I have a good follicle growing, and at that point he'll send me home with a trigger shot, which will ensure that I'll ovulate 36 hours later. By controlling when I ovulate, we can schedule an intrauterine insemination. He thinks that he can definitely get me to ovulate on this plan, but in the event that it doesn't result in a pregnancy, we'll move on to something else.

I'm so encouraged, and I seriously haven't stopped smiling since I left!!! I'm SO glad that we went to a different doctor, and that I'm totally comfortable now. We're officially "actively" trying!!!!

Home Sweet Home

2011-04-23T18:07:00.000-07:00

After a long week of travel, I'm finally home. Of all of the places I went, Seattle was by far my favorite! I didn't bring my camera, but did manage to get lots of pictures on my cell.

Wednesday we ate dinner in the hotel lounge. I ordered the Dungeness Chicken. I also tried a new beer, which was quite tasty - Pyramid Hefeweizen.

Thursday, we finally had a chance to get into the city, where I saw a beautiful old building that I completely fell in love with! I generally love anything covered in ivy, and this was certainly no exception.

Of course we had to wander down by the water.

When we were walking along the edge, we found this little guy. Someone told us that he has lived here for about 6 months, and people feed him fish all day. He was clearly not scared of us, and even came out to beg. We were pretty close to the fish market, so I'm guessing he probably eats better most days than I do with all of the fresh fish! Pretty cute, huh?!

While we were training all week, we asked everyone for recommendations on where to eat, and they all recommended Ivars. It's a seafood place right on the water. They were running a special that included an appetizer, entree, and dessert, so that's what I ended up doing. This was quite possibly the very best meal of my life.

I regret not getting a picture of dessert, but let me tell you, it was heaven. It was a dark chocolate cake, layered with white chocolate and raspberry mousse, sitting in a raspberry sauce. This cake was moan-out-loud-while-savoring-every-single-bite kindof good. Better than sex kindof good (maybe not better than really good sex, but you get the picture)

Overall, I really enjoyed Seattle. I would love to go back with Josh and actually see the fish market in action. Due to the time restrictions, we really didn't see too much of the city, which is unfortunate. I definitely would not want to live there, but it's an interesting place. One observation about the people (and maybe this is a Northern/west coast thing?) but of all the places we visited, these people were the most "expressive", for lack of a better word. At each of the locations we traveled to, we facilitated 2 supervisor sessions, each of which included supervisors, as well as their direct bosses. In Seattle, I couldn't help but notice that most of the leadership had crazy piercings and tattoos. I'm not talking a discreet nose ring or anything - like, crazy kind of stuff. It surprised me because it was really unprofessional, and at my home office, wouldn't have been allowed in a leadership position. To each his own though.

After a ridiculous amount of travel time on Friday (8+ hours), I was very excited to sleep in my own bed! I wondered how the time change coming back would be since it was such an adjustment for the first part of the week, but it wasn't bad at all. In fact, it was the best sleep I've had all week!

Sleepless in Seattle

2011-04-20T22:46:00.000-07:00

One sheep, two sheep, three sheep...it's not working. I can't go to sleep, so I'm opting to write instead...

I'm still traveling - tonight I'm writing from Seattle. It's been a good week, but a busy one. Generally, my job doesn't require me to travel, so there are definitely some things to get used to. Mainly, serious jet lag. I had a conversation with a fellow coworker yesterday who travels frequently, and he asked me how it was going. I told him that even though I'd slept good, I feel exhausted all.the.time. Apparently, that's jet lag (who knew?!) Everyone but me? Oh...

I'm really sleepy even now, but we're staying at a Hilton that smells like old people and creaks. I think I just can't seem to relax enough to sleep tonight...

Anywhoo, I think so far the whole training piece is going well, too. I was really worried because I'm training with two people that I normally don't work with (one that I'd not met until Tuesday) and I wanted to appear like I was totally prepared and completely put together - not like someone who just found out Thursday that I would be traveling... Let me tell you, these guys totally put me at ease and we've had a blast together (even though they would probably say "bless her little Tennessee heart..." - city folks!). I feel like I've known them for years, and that makes our training classes rock. I didn't think I'd really enjoy it as much as I have. It's been fun to get their perspective on things, and it's been fun to witness "ah ha" moments from the people we've been training. For the first time in awhile, I am really enjoying what I'm doing, and feel like it's genuinely appreciated.

Having said that, I'm beginning to get a bit homesick. I really miss Josh, and I would love to go to sleep in my own bed, and wake up without an alarm. Wonder if it'll be an adjustment again when I fly back on Friday since I'll "lose" a couple of hours? Because that would suck for sure.

One really great thing about this trip is the lack of focus on Tuesday's appointment with the RE!!! I can't believe it's less than a week away. It's so overdue, and I'm really ready to get it over with. I would probably be fretting if I was home, but I'm too tired and sidetracked to do that here (do you know how much energy goes into worrying?!) I would rather sleep.

Having said that, I believe I'll try again. After all, I have to be ready to go by 7:30 - UGH!

Sweet dreams my sweet friends!

Oh Monday!

2011-04-18T16:46:00.000-07:00

Thank you for the sweet words about my Huckleberry this past week- they meant so much. It was an incredibly difficult week, made worse by the fact that Josh was traveling for work. I had to make the decision by myself, and then call and tell him over the phone. I wanted him to be there so badly so that I could just cry on him, but since he wasn't, I had some sweet girlfriends try and make it better. I'm thankful for beautiful friends that know just what to say!

*********

Today, I'm writing from across the country - in Boise, ID! Last Thursday when I was almost to work, my boss called and said she needed me to fill in for someone and facilitate a training this week. She asked if I could drive to Kentucky after work so I could observe some classes on Friday in preparation for this week. I did, and I'm pretty familiar with the material, so I agreed to travel this week. It will be hectic FOR SURE. Here is my schedule:

Monday - fly to Boise (seriously, an entire day of travel)
Tuesday - session in Boise; fly to Seattle, WA; drive to Lacey, WA
Wednesday - session in Lacey
Thursday - session in Federal Way
Friday - fly home from Seattle (an even longer trip than the first!)

My flight this morning left at 7, so I was up at 3 since I needed to leave my house by 4 to get to the airport by 5. I'm a firm believer in getting to the airport a couple of hours early, and there were numerous people this morning that missed their flights due to an insanely long security line - hello people, it's a Monday morning. Fortunately, everyone on my flight was sleepy, so it was quiet and I slept almost the entire time.

I really haven't done much of anything since I've been here. Almost as soon as I arrived this afternoon, I took a long, hot bath and checked my e-mails in the bathtub (because who says you can't have a little luxury while traveling...). I'm getting ready to meet up with some other people who will be training with me this week, and we're heading out to dinner somewhere. Always nice to travel with others, especially when I don't have to drive at all! Wish me luck tomorrow in class!

(hopefully I can successfully pretend that I do indeed know what I am talking about...)

It's Been A Hard Day

2011-04-12T17:46:00.000-07:00

Due to an unfair set of circumstances, I had to make the difficult decision to put my sweet kitty, Huckleberry, to sleep this afternoon. It was the right decision, because he was in pain, but that doesn't really make it any easier. I feel like I lost a member of my family, and I'm just totally and completely heart broken.

:-(

Ramblings

2011-04-10T18:44:00.000-07:00

This week has been a relatively quiet one. I've been working on our bedroom mostly. I know, I know - that was supposed to be a quick project. I should have known better! The good news is, that the bathroom is 95% done. It's completely painted, and the painter's tape has been removed, but there are some small touch-ups that need to be done. Mostly around the edges. I decided not to stripe in the bathroom as I'd originally planned, because it was SO hard to tape. There are too many hard-to-reach areas because of the layout, and I can imagine that striping would be a nightmare, so I'm just sticking with our bedroom. I'm all done with the base coat (finished that last weekend), but hadn't taped out the stripes yet. Josh and I did that yesterday with a chalk line, so the painting itself shouldn't take long at all. I should have finished it today, but I was feeling a little lazy, and opted to read instead :-)

In other news, our bedroom furniture arrived today!! I *love* it!!!! It's sooooo much more beautiful than in the pictures! I'll definitely post some pictures, but only once I finish the bedroom and get our new bedding in, so it may be a couple of weeks.

For a little TMI, I'm waxing my legs this week, so they are fuzzy and itchy. Definitely overdue... It's my blog, and they are itching this very moment, so I can overshare if I want to.

OH! Totally have to ask - have you ever tried quinoa?! Well. I never had until this weekend! I love, love, love it. I wasn't really sure what to do with it, and it was a spur of the moment meal. Yesterday, we couldn't figure out what to eat for lunch, and we really didn't have alot to choose from, and neither of us wanted to go out. So I dug through the pantry and found a box of quinoa that I bought on sale months ago. I cooked it in vegetable broth, and then sauteed red onion, black beans, and garlic and combined it with the quinoa. Josh said it looked like eyeballs (because that's exactly what kind of observation a mature, 30 year old man should make....) which made me slightly hesitant to try it, but once I did, I wondered where it had been all my life. It's seriously the best thing ever. It will easily replace brown rice for me!

April is National Infertility Awareness Month, which is near and dear to my heart. I thought in honor of it, I would share a little bit of information with you on what not to say to someone going through infertility. That deserves a post of it's own, but I've already started writing it, and I'm quite excited. Gotta spread the word!

Speaking of which, my RE appointment is just a couple weeks away now! I'm so excited and anxious that I can hardly stand it!

Try It Tuesday - Green Smoothies

2011-04-05T20:25:00.000-07:00

I have a confession. I drink a concoction that resembles swamp water at least 4-5 times a week.

You may not know it by looking at it - but it's D-E-L-I-S-H! I can't even remember how I first heard about these, but I remember being curious enough to Google them, and found a ton of information and recipes! Basically, a green smoothie is a fruit smoothie with greens of some sort. Most people don't eat very many greens (kale, spinach, swiss chard, etc) regularly, including myself, so this is the perfect solution! You can't taste the greens at all, and depending on what fruit you use, sometimes you can't even see them.

Most days, it's a convienent breakfast for me. I have an hour long commute to work, so I can take 5 minutes to blend one up, and then drink it on my way in to work. This is definitely a time saver! I find it's a money saver as well. During the summer, when greens are abundant and on sale, I stock up and then freeze them in ziplock bags. Ditto for fruit. This year, I'll be growing lettuce and kale in my garden, so that will save even more money.

I'll leave you with a couple of my favorite recipes!

1 cup vanilla almond milk (I use the unsweetened vanilla)

1 frozen banana

1 cup blueberries (or any other kind of berry)

A couple handfuls spinach

****

1 cup strawberries

1 cup blueberries

1 frozen banana

2 tbsp flax meal

1/2 c kale

1 c spinach

Enough water to blend (or you could substitute any kind of milk for a creamier smoothie)

Enjoy!!!!

The Scary Unknown

2011-04-02T20:53:00.000-07:00

I'm still not done with the painting. I'm annoyed that it's taken so long, but every time I walk into my yellow bedroom, I'm immediately happy, so I absolutely think the time commitment has been worth it. The good news is that I'll be done with our bathroom tomorrow, which means life can go back to being a little more normal. It'll be nice to move back to our bathroom rather then having to go upstairs to shower and get ready.

One thing that's taken me by surprise during this redecorating process is how therapeutic painting actually is. When I'm sitting in the bedroom in silence, just painting, it seems that all of these thoughts I try to avoid, surface. Thoughts about the babies I don't have yet. Most days I'm able to suppress the longing that I feel for a baby, but sometimes, usually when I don't expect it, I'm consumed with that longing in such a way that it almost renders me completely useless. That's what happened today. I was painting a particular corner in the bedroom that's been empty since we moved in, and the thought popped into my head that a chair for nursing would be great in that spot because it's right near my side of the bed. It just took the one thought, and all of a sudden I was overwhelmed. With nothing to distract me, I just sat there for awhile, dreaming of the babies that were long ago conceived in my heart. Will they look like me or Josh? Will they have his olive skin, or my pasty skin? His dimples? My nose?

What if I never have a baby?

That's the scary question, the one that I try to avoid at all costs, but the one that inserts itself into any baby thought that crosses my mind. I've wrestled with that thought for the last 4+ years, and each time, it seems more like a reality then the time before.

In three weeks, that feel like an eternity away, I'll be trying round two at the fertility clinic. I've been trying to convince myself to go into this appointment with no expectations. It's just a talk - that's all. But how do you not have expectations?! Every time I think about the appointment, it takes all I have not to break down and cry. Mostly because I know the doctor is going to force me to talk about having a baby, and that makes me more emotional than I can begin to describe. Will he understand? The last doctor didn't.... What I want to tell him is that I'm scared. Scared that he won't be able to get me pregnant. And that I'm scared to even try, because the disappointment of failing at something so important to me is terrifying. I want to tell him how much we want a baby, but how do you even begin to describe a longing that you feel to your very core?

Please God, let this appointment go well. Let this be the year that makes us parents.

Project Updates

2011-03-28T19:21:00.000-07:00

I started painting around 1 PM on Saturday. Around 1:30 PM Saturday I really wished I had hired painters. Haha. I may have slightly underestimated how long this small project of mine would take.

It wouldn't be so bad, except that it's my bedroom and bathroom, which have become non-functioning at the moment. As it turns out, these two rooms are quite essential to the work week. We knew we were getting rid of some of our old bedroom furniture, and since we had to move it to paint anyway, we went ahead and moved it out Saturday. We gave our dresser to my brother, and sold our armoire, which was picked up yesterday (although we had moved it to the foyer Saturday when my brother was here). That means that everything that was in those items is now sitting on our dining room table. Everything else that has been sitting in the bedroom is also in the dining room (which reminds me, I really need a bookcase...) We moved the bed to the center of the bedroom, and that's pretty much the only thing in there.

Our bathroom is completely tarped, so we have had to temporarily move upstairs to the guest bathroom with a shower. I know it's not the end of the world, but here is how this morning went: Wake up, collect my shower stuff, and drag my sleepy self upstairs to the bathroom. Turn on the water, realize I forgot my facewash. Walk back downstairs, grab facewash, walk back upstairs. Finish shower, walk back downstairs, realize I left my phone upstairs. Walk back upstairs, grab phone, back down. Wade through tarps, and paint craziness to find clothes. Dig through stuff on dining room table to find a bra.

Yeah. Super fun.

It's coming along though. It's going to be tough through the week, because obviously I can't devote as much time to painting since I get home at 6ish, and then have to figure out food. But I'm confident I'll be 100% finished after this weekend.

Can't WAIT to share some pictures!

Holy Moly!

2011-03-24T18:07:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling slightly panicked since receiving notification that my new bedroom furniture has shipped. I have a bedroom full of stuff that needs to be organized and moved out. I am painting before the furniture gets here, which means I have to be completely finished painting this weekend since the furniture will most likely be delivered next week. I have tonight and tomorrow night, then two days to clean out an armoire and find it a home, clean out a very large dresser so it's new owner can come pick it up Saturday morning, clean out a nightstand (the junk drawer...) and move it upstairs, tape, fill holes in the walls, purchase paint and accessories, and paint stripes (because I couldn't make this a quick and easy process...). I'm going to let that process for a moment..... now do you understand?!

I am thinking it may be time to bribe some friends :-)

Despite wondering how I will finish, I'm really excited about the new stripes I'm painting! I've been dying to use this technique since I saw it on TV years ago. The walls will look like this if all goes well:

The paint color is the same, but it's purchased in a flat and a high gloss. That's what gives the stripe effect, but it's very subtle. The stripes should be fairly easy to do, although it will take a couple of people. They are made using a chalk line, and then taped from there.

I actually haven't decided what color I'm painting yet (I know, right?!) Right now pretty much our entire house is a cappachino color. The previous owners were all about some brown. Needless to say, I'm pretty much over it. I need some color! Our furniture is mahogany, so it will go with almost anything. I'm still looking, but I am thinking it's between yellow and blue. I really want blue, but I'm kindof scared of it to be honest. In the past, I've been a very neutral girl, so although I love blue and it makes me happy, it's definitely out of my comfort zone. Plus, I'll always have to pick out bedding to coordinate with it. And what kindof curtains go with blue?! See, all these concerns and questions. Yellow, on the other hand, is still sortof neutral, but still happy. Then, I could go with a very light, almost beige color, which would allow me to add color via bedding and curtains. I just don't know. I've been scouring the internet for pictures and paint colors, so hopefully I'll find the right inspiration soon!

By The Way...

2011-03-23T16:31:00.000-07:00

Only 33 days until my appointment with our new RE!

(just in case anyone is counting)

:-)

New Layout and Kitty Update

2011-03-23T08:09:00.000-07:00

Don't you just love the new layout?! Faith, whose link is on the right, designed it for me, and it's absolutely perfect and exactly what I was looking for!

Yesterday I stayed home from work, which was quite fabulous. Why, you ask? Just because I wanted to! I haven't really had any time off since the beginning of the year, and I was beginning to get a little stressed out, so I decided to take a day with no obligations whatsoever. I ended up getting quite a bit of stuff done though. I went grocery shopping, went to visit with the kitty who is still at the vet, organized some stuff in our bonus room that I'm embarrassed to say has been sitting up there since Christmas, cleaned out some drawers in preparation for our new bedroom furniture, made 3 loaves of poppy seed bread (YUM!), and beat a few levels on Angry Birds, haha ;-)

Of course, I didn't want to get up and go to work this morning though....

So update on Huck. The vet called Monday evening and said they did end up having to put him to sleep to catheterize him, and they did find that he was completely blocked. Obviously this would have been fatal, so it's a really good thing I got him there on Monday when I did. They were able to remove the blockage, but they had to keep him Monday night to make sure he was able to pee by himself on Tuesday. His vet called me first thing Tuesday morning and said he did go overnight, which she was very happy about, but since he is on anti-inflammatory meds and an antibiotic, she wanted to keep him another day just to make sure he was doing well. They asked me to bring some of his food by yesterday, and when I got there they let me go back to visit. He immediately started purring and trying to crawl on me, but I could tell he was sore. He ate quite a bit, which was good. He's still there today, but I'm hoping he will be able to come home either today or tomorrow at the latest. I miss my little guy!

Trip to the Vet = No Fun

2011-03-21T12:27:00.000-07:00

So I called the vet first thing this morning and had them squeeze in Huck today. Between last night and this morning he developed some blood in his urine, and seemed to be in more pain than he was Saturday/Sunday morning. We got there, and the vet said she could fill that his bladder was full, so she tried to squeeze it but nothing happened. She feels like there is a blockage of some sort, and seemed really concerned. They made me leave him there, and she said if he doesn't pee on his own, she is going to knock him out so she can manually empty his bladder, and then depending on what she sees, she may need to put in a catheter for a day or two. At this point, she isn't really sure what the cause is, but hopefully, once she is able to get a good sample she will know more.

Poor kitty.

Weekend Activites

2011-03-20T18:15:00.000-07:00

I'm a little sad that it's already Sunday evening, but this weekend has been quite eventful!

Friday night we went out for dinner with another couple. I work with the husband of the other couple - we were actually hired at the same time 5+ years ago at the company I work for. He and I meshed immediately, and although we work in different locations now, we chat almost daily. I was really excited to get together, but I was nervous about all the spouses meeting, because it's just hard to anticipate how it will go when you throw together a bunch of people that don't know each other. Forunately, it went great! The conversation flowed easily, and we ended up staying at the restaurant for almost 3 hours! We'll probably try to get together again at some point, hopefully soon!

Saturday we got some work done in the garden. We spread out all the compost onto the area where we will plant, and then added a mixture of peat moss and manure. We tilled it all together, so we'll be ready to plant next week. Woo hoo!

In other, not so fun, news...I have a very sick kitty :-(

Huckleberry started feeling bad on Saturday, and I noticed he had a couple of accidents on the floor, which never happens (fortunately, we have tile, so no big worries there). I also noticed that before he had to go, he would cry. He's been pretty lethargic, and hasn't really been eating either. Sunday night, he started having a LOT of leaking issues. He was just sortof walking around and peeing - again, totally out of the norm. I ended up buying some puppy pads, covering the entire laundry room with them, and locking him in there. It's been so sad though. He never, ever gets locked up, and he is used to following us around everywhere, so he doesn't understand. He's been pawing at the door and crying every time we walk by. I've been going in there pretty frequently and giving him some attention though, so hopefully that's helping. I'm calling the vet first thing in the morning to take him - I hope he feels better very soon!

Friday Randomness

2011-03-18T07:12:00.000-07:00

T.G.I.F. Seriously.

Today on my way to work I saw a biker. Not unusual, except that this biker had on a neon green windsuit, and (as if that wasn't enough) a neon orange safety vest. At first I got a good chuckle, and then I started wondering why in the world he would wear that in public. I bet someone took him out. Yep. That's my conclusion. The only reason anyone in his right mind would wear that is if he had been hit before. Obviously this is not funny, but for whatever reason, when I came to that conclusion, it made me laugh a little more.... (and seriously, if this was a movie, you would totally laugh, too)
I ordered new bedroom furniture last night from Pottery Barn! I'm SO SO SOOOO excited! It's the Valencia collection. This weekend I'm hoping to paint the bedroom, and figure out what to do with our old furniture. I can't wait to post some before and after pics. It's a long overdue upgrade!
I'm reading a new book, Adopted for Life. It's really quite good. It's draws comparisons between the adoption of orphans and our adoption into God's family as Christians. It challenges that the church should be known for adoption, because we are the very example of it. I had heard it recommended by several people, but still didn't think it would be a read worth talking about. I was totally wrong. I had a highlighter out because there were statements that were so profound that I wanted to be able to find them quickly. In certain places, I was reading so fast because it was so good that I was unintentionally skipping things; I had to force myself to slow down. Once I finish it, it deserves an entire post, so I'll review it completely. I have a feeling I'll finish it this weekend.
I'm tilling up the backyard this weekend for garden prep! Can't wait to plant next weekend!

There you have it. A collection of total randomness.

Final Garden Design

2011-03-15T17:29:00.000-07:00

I've been working on a garden design for a few weeks now, and I've finally completed it! I love our garden, and I am super excited to start planting! We actually have quite a bit of work to do before we're ready to plant, so we'll get started this weekend. We have two compost bins that Josh built. One has turned into gorgeous dirt, so I'll spread it over the ground with some additional fertilizer before Josh tills everything up. Once it's emptied, we'll start using that one, and let the other one compost away in peace. It'll be ready to spread before winter hopefully!

I planned the design based on past experiences, and what we love and use all the time. There are a couple of newbies in there as well.

Here is what the finished product will look like:

A) large tomatoes
B) cherry tomatoes
C) a. sugar snap peas; b. blueberries; c. blackberries
D) bush beans
E) cucumbers
F) bell peppers
G) spaghetti squash
H) a. basil; b. rosemary; c. cilantro
I) marigolds
J) spinach
K) kale
L) red leaf lettuce
M) green leaf lettuce
N) onion

The spinach, kale, and lettuce will have very spread out plantings - that way we don't end up with an entire row of everything all at once. What we don't use, I'll freeze in ziplock bags and add to my morning green smoothies (sounds gross, but you can't taste the greens even a little!)

Marigolds probably seem random, right? We garden organically, and they keep away lots of unwanted bugs. Planting them in with the veggies is called companion planting, and it's a great way to start an organic garden! You can also group together certain kinds of veggies to produce better results, both in production as well as decreased insects/disease. I'm relatively new to gardening, so I'm definitely still learning all about it! I read the other day that anyone who grows any type of plant should keep a journal. You should record things like the name of the seeds you planted, your production results, what types of problems you had, weather, etc. This way you can research solutions over the winter and hopefully avoid some of the same issues the following year. I will be starting one this year for sure!

Baby Steps

2011-03-14T08:54:00.000-07:00

Those of you that have followed me over remember my terrible experience with our first visit to our RE (reproductive endocrinologist - AKA: baby doc!). For those of you that don't, I'll give a quick recap. Last year, we decided to take the next step and officially start treatment with an RE. Previously, all of my treatments had been handled by my regular OB/GYN since they were not invasive. I struggled with the appointment, and was really, really nervous and hesitant to go, which made it all the worse when things didn't go well. I didn't click with the doctor - I thought he was a total jerk. He made me feel like not getting pregnant naturally was my fault. He embarrassed me tremendously with unnecessary comments/questions (did you seriously just make a comment about a stretch mark on my boob that's been there since I was twelve?!). The physical exam was awkward. And I left with quite a few unanswered questions. I sobbed the entire hour drive home, and then for several hours after. That day, I didn't care if I ever had any children - I just knew I wasn't going back to him. So I didn't for a very long time. Once things had calmed down, I started questioning whether or not I had overreacted. Josh didn't have any huge issues with him, so I debated on going back. I decided I would give him one more chance with an HSG that I knew I had to complete before we could move forward. I called to schedule, and it was impossible to get an appointment. With an HSG, you have to call on Cycle Day 1, because there is only a window of a few days when the test can be performed. For 3 months, they couldn't get me in. The third month, after some fussing on my part, they agreed to let a different doc perform the procedure. After a very painful HSG, we determined both tubes were perfectly clear. Thank goodness - one less thing to deal with! At that point, I spoke to a friend that had a similar experience with the same fertility clinic I hated. She ended up transferring to a clinic about an hour and a half away, and totally adored the doctors and staff. She got pregnant there via IVF, and had a beautiful little boy. I was sold.

So fast forward to today. I called to schedule my first appointment with the new clinic. It's 6 weeks from tomorrow - 4/26. I'm really, really excited to be back on track, and cannot WAIT to get started. Fingers crossed that I will love the new doctor and clinic!

An Explanation

2011-03-11T11:48:00.000-08:00

Some of you have transitioned from my previous blog, so I wanted to give you an explanation of the move. My husband, Josh, owns a business in the town that we live in. When we started the "family" blog, the business was small, and they weren't really on the Internet at all. The business has grown significantly over the last couple of years though, and they are very involved in the community now. Obviously this is a great thing, but people search for the business by using variations of Josh's name. Since the name of our blog includes our last name, I've had more than one person find the blog. Having said that, I definitely don't mind people seeing pics of vacations or reading posts about Christmas, but I definitely do not want any of those people knowing intimate details of our lives - especially the details of trying to have a baby. So that's why I'm moving here. I'm actually keeping my family blog open, but I'll be deleting (or maybe moving) the baby posts and then only posting anything baby related here. What that means is the the 2 blogs will have the exact same posts - except this one will also include the baby related ones. It's actually a good transition, because none of my family will have this new address for now. I won't share until we're pregnant, which will give me the freedom to discuss all things relating to our fertility journey. At that point, I'll probably transition over here completely.

What that means for those of you who received an invite for this blog, is that you should delete the other from your links and add this one instead. It'll be much more fun to read - I promise! :-)

New Beginnings

2011-03-08T21:04:00.000-08:00

Welcome! Sit back, relax, and have a cup of tea.....or a mimosa (I'm not judging...).

I'm such a journal kindof gal. I love to document the details of my life - the good, the bad, and the ugly. I think it makes for good reading later on, and the older I get, the faster time seems to fly. I'm always worried that if I don't write everything down, one day I'll wake up and won't be able to remember the little things that are so special. Enter new blog. I want a place to vent, where I can write freely with spell check! My OCD personality loves spell check.

I'm actually transitioning from a previous blog, and although I hate to move, it was necessary (details for another day). Just in case this is your first visit though, you may want to know a little about me.

So who am I? Well that isn't easy to answer at all, but let me give it a shot. I'm a wife to my best friend and biggest fan. We are currently trying to grow our family, but we've had some trouble conceiving so we are about to venture down a new road of fertility treatments. I have a strong faith in God. I attend a non-denominational church right now, and I love that. It's a place where rigid traditions are exchanged for a relationship with Christ, and people are free to worship how they choose, with no judgement from others. I'm a huge Martha Stewart fan. Seriously, huge...minus the prison Martha of course. I love all things domestic: decorating, organizing, cooking, gardening - this list could go on and on. I think it's fairly easy to determine at this point where the blog name came from.

I'm a lover of people in general. I tend to get along with everyone, and I could talk to a brick wall (or in this case, a computer) for hours. So I will. Feel free to stay awhile and visit!